Spoilers

Ive had 4 different people in the last week mention to me Austin Powers for some reason or another, so here i am after my stressful Wednesday of people cutting me up, petrol drama & clients who just dont get it, & im sitting here eating me a huge bowl of couscous ready to watch a film which was always a little bit cringe, but now probably 20 years later is going to be really really bad, but oh well. Im here for it. Time for some Goldmember.

I do have a very soft spot for this film as 11 year olds we wanted to see it so we were taken to the cinema to see it with one of the parents & they were like oh they are so over the age of 13 & took us in & they sat down til that staff member was busy then said okay enjoy girls & then left. I always felt like we were so naughty. Bet you couldnt do that today.

My Mums favourite Joke is in this film. It gets her every time & she just giggles away even to this day. It one of Michael Caines jokes.
“there are 2 things i cant stand in this world, people who are intolerant of other peoples cultures… & the dutch!”
seriously shes a mess every time & its the fact he says it so striaght faced & matter of fact & the way austin just looks him up & down like seriously you said that. It is brilliant & then later on in the film when something goes wrong hes like only a bloody dutchman. See youd never get away with this today at all. But late 90s early 00s 100% you could.

The introduction about making an austin powers movie but they are all literally doing it as a favour & all the famous people they get to be in it is crazy, I mean Tom Cruise is Austin. Theres Paltro, Devito, Spacey (now problematic) Travolta & then Spielberg’s bloody directing it. & then they are all in the traditional intro being weird. I love it. It showed how much people wanted to be in it if even for a second even if the jokes on them.

Beyonce is the least austin powers girl of them all, but she was the right person at the time, she was trying to break away from the girl band image & her being in this helped he grow. Shes never going to be the best actress though lets be honest, but having her be helpful & not actually really having a sex scene with austin is a good move, it showed the film wanted to grow & not all be about sex jokes, although theres still a few. Also she wasnt beyonce enough to stop Verne from humping her leg.

Mini Me (bless Verne) has the biggest character arch in this. He realises doctor evil is just using him & then swaps to be a mini austin & breaks dr evils heart. That was brilliant. I liked that.

Dr Evil finally gets his fricken sharks with fricken laser beams attached to their fricken heads is the biggest pay off im sorry it really is. Its like yessssssss finally & then they are all like ewww thats a bit grim, but im glad he got it.

I also like the whole they are actually all family thing, its a clever twist on it all which is like oh okay, especially as dr evil had talked about his weird parents in the past to various family groups. & then he turns good at the point where Scott wants to be evil. I like that he even goes bald & is laughing at the end of it.

All the little enterprises that Dr evil does on the side to cover it all up is brilliant. Him being Leonardo DiCaprio’s agent is amazing.

Austin gets knighted in this one, but he was originally going to be knighted at the start of the second but didnt, so that then also shows how he lost his dads respect.

Giving Michael Caine a mini as a spy car is incredible. As a teen no idea, as an adult, phenomenal thing to do. & that chase around Japan (ahhh Godzilla but not Godzilla) is so fun to watch.

I love when he holds the world to Ransome they just dont give a shit anymore they are just like oh its dr evil again, what does he want now. Also surely they know where he is by now, Austin does every time, so why not the world council. I know i know boring plot, especially at the start when austin does find him straight away & hes like shit. But we do get the prison song which was almost number 1 here when it came out & that stupid riot.

There are obviously some jokes used from the previous films, the shadow technique, the every word sounds like boobs or dick (which the Osbournes get involved it as they were tv icons at the time) Mini me being massive, the judo chops, the easy escapes. It is all the same but also you dont know when the gag is coming.

The mole was a nice addition. Weve all been in that situation before, & the fact he gets it out of his system & has that fight is brilliant. & using the subtitles as well, i liked that.

The internets best use is still stupid animal videos all those years late.

Can we please appreciate Nathan Lane being the decoy in the club, its phenomenal. I love that man.

Fat bastard being a sumo wrestler is clever but he is the worst part of the film, but so many people loved him in number 2 that they had to bring him back. Gold member though, an instant icon especially with the flesh eating & the golden balls & the iconic smoke & a pancake. Simple but brilliant.

Britney doing the other song for it & being a fembot only to then want to have sex with mini me. What was all that about.

I get that in the end it was a movie within a movie, but it still felt like hang on were just letting this bad guy go into the theatre to watch this just cos its based on his life & hes threatened to kill us all dozens of times, i somehow dont think that is odd.

I still laugh when i watch this. I think i could quote it word for word. Especially the song of Daddy wasnt there…

Yea this is still a blast all these years later you could do a lot worse from early 00s comedy than this. The retro vibe of the past & now the 00s works so well & i always smile when i watch it.