Maybe going to the cinema straight after work on one of the busiest weeks ever wastn the best idea, but here i am ready to watch Splitsville & hope that its enough of a RomCom to make tonight feel worth while. After all tomorrow is payroll day & then for the next 2 days after that we are moving offices & then its easter, yea busy busy week.

Not to bad for a monday night screening, half full in screen 4, pretty decent mainly millennials which is always a good sign.

I thought i had written the trailers part, nope no i hadnt my bad, everything that was advertised before this is now probably most certainly out, sorry peoples.

& then the film started… hmmm this wasnt the ride i was sold if im honest.

So that is what Greg from Succession ended up doing. That says a lot about a film that im sat here talking about a character that arrived near the end of act 3 isnt it. But he was good.

Now can i just say in the real world, neither of those two men would have been able to have pulled either of the ladies in this film into bed at all. They are below mid in personality & looks in the film. All i can say is that both women must have had drunk one night stands with them & they must have had mind blowing sex to get them, because no way would they have had each other or had a love swap with them all throughout (or not in one case) it just wouldnt happen.

There was a fight which happens way to early on in the film which is good, its cleverly done & is full on & its interruptions are stupid. It is one of the funniest parts of the film as well. But we struggle to hit that high again. The only thing that gets close to that is the ex having all the different new lovers come & live with them &they just stay but they all have their uses & all actually eventually get on. I liked that as well, but that was probably due to the new people being brought in to make it interesting. But that was all that made me laugh. All the other things they did didnt make me laugh once. Even the end which was chaos twice i just sat there going oh okay then.

Choosing the break up of everything as chapters was interesting, im not sure it needed it. Also you kind of forgot about it too. It was like are you doing this because you want to be arty. Even naming them after different stages of divorce, basically doomed it even more. I just dont understand why they did it.

Now i sit here every time there is a Dakota Johnson film & go you know what maybe this time she will show her acting promise. Maybe she will have chemistry with someone. Maybe this is the time shes a proper leading lady. Especially as her name is the main pull of this. There is no one else major & as hollywood. She is the name to draw you in. Im sorry i cant do it anymore. She was crap. She had no chemistry with either man at any point in this. She never sounds upset or angry. She just does what she always does, look mopey, try to make her face move, & then say oooh & then put her hand in her hair & then repeat woodenly her line. Im sorry Dakota, give up acting. You make Portman look good. That says a lot. It just pulls it back to the lack of believability that either men would have someone like her.

The script & story was written & set out to make every single character in this, stupid or have no common sense or no idea how what they would do would effect everyone around them. If it was done stupidly over the top it might have been more believable, but this film took itself seriously abut a story of relationships that it didnt hit any beat to make that fun.

Even the dog wasnt safe in this film.

Once again someone has a big house which is far too much for this movie & the people in it.

Im going to stop writing now because im now sat her going actually thinking about it back it was worse than 2 stars. It irritated me & is irritating me again writing about it. So avoid this people. The rom is bland & the com is only twice. This is a let down for me for sure.