When i saw a few posher proper critics go eh at this i was like well sometimes they get it wrong, maybe they just were all having a bad day watching the Dog Stars. I mean its got Jacob & Josh & Margaret in it. The Dog stars cant be that bad can it? The only way to find out is to go to the cinema to see it.

There was about 50 people in my 8pm tuesday screening for this. Mainly men all older than me. A couple of couples as well but it wasnt drawing the female audience i assumed they would want jacob to bring in.

Trailers, Violent night 2 (yes) Digger (the guy in front of me actually shouted loudly Jesse at it we all laughed) Oasis (wasnt down for it but am now) Heart of the beast or as i like to call it brad pitt & his dog & pressure.

& then the film started… staying home watching the sewing bee would have been more exciting.

So my fitbit has a watch face, its the default setting to it, but if your not flicking through it turns off after a minute & its just a black screen. Now there are some films when i think were heading into act 3 & i want to see what the time is because im like oh okay were nearly done how long left, especially in the cinema. It doesnt glow like a phone or apple watches or whatever its very subtle. I think i checked my watch (& this isnt even an estimate here) at least 6 times when i watched this.

Its Pacing was awful. Seriously. Ive watched bad kids cartoons with better beats in it. So much so that when the first full on intense moment happened i was like oh respite. Oh no striaght into the next one. Im sorry ive waited over 1h20 for a set piece to get me going & you deliver them both back to back & in total it takes like 15 minutes? What is going on? & then the twists for the ending where someones been wanting to go somewhere, you could see coming from a mile off & how only one character was like hmmm i don’t know, yea big red flags.

As much as the landscape was beautiful at times, it got very samey. It was like look theres a lake or a mountain we can fly something by, oh lets do it again. We never really saw him show any sort of like oh this is my peaceful place up in the clouds. Even his story about the mountain was just like eh okay?

Josh Brolin was the only person giving a good performance in this (& this film has my mate Guy Pearce in it). He was solid, & the film improved every time he was on the screen. Also this is now the 3rd film in a row where im like i dont get the Jacob thing, hes not hot, hes not got much charisma, hes not a leading man hollywood. Im sorry hes not. & i dont really want him to be Bond. He mumbled his way through this & his action sequences werent what id hope they would be. If he get the job (like i said with Callum the other day) i hope he proves me wrong but hes not who i want to be Bond for the next 10 years at least. Also Margarette had no chemistry with him at all she had better chemistry in drive away dolls.

The stars were pretty i liked that.

It just felt liked a half baked story. Considering the depth weve seen recent end of the world apocalypse movies & shows have this just lacked a lot of the raw feelings & the flash backs didnt add anything to it. It was like they tried to make the safest most bland end of the world movie & this is what you get.

I dont like to talk badly about films, i really dont but this one was so so so boring & i really wanted to engage & feel it, but i just couldnt. Id much rather watch a crap film that knows what it is & gives me a jump form time to time that sit through 2 hours of this again. & i know some people are like if you find it boring your missing the point, but i wasnt here for the action, i wanted to feel the nerves & the steaks & the peril & the human impact. But i felt nothing.

Give me jason stathom killing someone with a padlock any day over whatever the hell this was.