I don’t do dinosaurs I’m sorry I don’t never have never will. So when lots & lots of people said to me how can you know when you’ve never watched it & you cant be a proper film blogger if you dont go & see this, i decided fuck it lets go. I technically get it for free so why not. So clear mind girl lets do this. 

Thursdays are a good day for me & the cinema its always a pain to get home on a thursday no idea why, so i hopped along to screen 6 at the odeon… & the only other people in there were a family of 5, in the premier seats. Yep that was it me & them. Not good really.

Trailers we had a really long Mama mia one, Adrift which looks good, The Incredibles Where is my Super Suit one, Ant Man the brand new one & Mission Impossible Tom Cruise looks old in the trailer one. Im going to see probably all but 1 of them & the one missing out is mission, im not the right generation for mission sorry people im not he was before Bourne & Bauer who are my action heros (& Bond obviously but hes everyones right?)

& then  the film started & that 2 hours 10 minutes of my life i wont ever get back but you know at least i went & saw it, right?

First of all lack of Goldblum… like seriously hes been promoted heavily for this film but what you see in the trailer is exactly what you get of him in the film no more no less that is literally it. Hes not even Goldbluming it. Proper let down i want more Goldblum for my money come on people.

No characters had any chemistry at all with each other no one. The love story nope. The rich peoples family (even Lockwood & his granddaughtry whatever she was) none there, no marine bonding or people in mild peril nothing. It was all just super glued together. The only relationship in the entire thing that didnt feel false or put on was Chris Pratt & Blue his Raptor,  & shes CGI?!?!?!?!!?!?!? their relationship was very believable but no one else i gave a fuck about.

Chris Pratts knee sliding to get a weapon & then slide off is on point hes nailed that he really has. He also had the second best bit of the film which was the slowly pretending to be in pain & escape the lava coming towards you even slower that was good. We will get to the best bit in the film in a minute.

Nice touching tribute to Richard Attenborough with his face on the wall that was sweet & nice.

The best bit of the entire film is Toby Jones performance. Hes in the film probably 10 maybe 15 mins at a push but his auctioneer character was brilliant. I loved it.

But nah other than that this film didnt do it for me Dinosaurs are not my thing & i felt a little bit bored when we got near the end. I understand why its ended like that (you know got to make some more of these films) but it would have been better if they didnt do what they did.

& i cant really pass much more judgement on it than that. It had moments like even really crap films do, but it just didnt grab me. Oh well at least i know.& i tried my hardest to go in there with a clear mind people i really did

I would have been better if a Raptor had randomly started saying Alan on a plane.