Disney are going for the Christmas market stupidly early with a classic, so let’s see what they do to the nut cracker. I mean Jack Whitehall & Helen Mirren are in it, it can’t be that bad can it.

Cinema had about 2 other family’s & an odd couple of 3 & that was about it. So much for this being attractive & family fun for all when you can’t even half full screen 6.

Trailers we had wreck it Ralph breaks the internet, mary poppins, spiderverse & it was the first one I saw the extended long grinch trailer too. There was also a small how to train your dragon preview.

& then the film started… & it was bad. Sorry there’s no other way to say it, it just was.  What were you thinking Disney.

First of all don’t call it the nutcracker if the nutcracker is basically not even a main character at all. Whenever the nutcracker was on screen who ever he was acting with he was second fiddle, a side kick & therefore not that really important to the plot. Most of it could have been solved without him.

There was no imagination to it at all to make it fresh or re-branded or new. It wasn’t a do over & it wasn’t staying completely true to the original. It just got lost in itself & wanted to do far too much.

The names in the film apart from Kiera Knightly who looked to forced in her roll & uncomfortable doing it, weren’t used enough. I needed more Whitehall, mirren, grant, Freeman but nah all we’re used sparingly. & none of them looked like they were having fun in their role.

Apparently Miranda Hart was in the film, god alone knows where she was I don’t remember seeing her. Which is probably a good thing actually as I would hate the film more than I already do. She’s not funny she’s so dull & according to everyone I know who’s met her she’s very rude.

The father daughter relationship was the most important to the film, but even at the end I still don’t think she properly got it until the dance. We were supposed to want a love story between the girl & the nutcracker but nah it wasn’t happening at all.

I liked the mice who turned into murmeration at points they were cool they had the best personalities too. So good old cgi department for them. Actually thought they were going to be the thing that pissed me off but they were the best bit of the film.

Once again I have to say this which all films do which does my head in. In London at Christmas it doesn’t snow no no no it doesn’t get your heads around that. It’s wrong. Also ice skating down the Thames ha it’s fucking tidal. 

Basically it was dull & uninspiring & just a waste of 98mins if my life entirely. All of Disney’s hard work on there year long advertising campaign have given us a crap film. Avoid at all costs.