Spoilers!

My sister doesn’t get Tarantino & his film & his macarbness… Her loss. Oh he’s on fire in this one, yes it’s a long watch at nearly 2h30 but you know what I always feel like it’s a 90min film.

Ok let’s discus the first elephant in the room, it’s not in English. Im glad it’s mainly in German & French I didn’t feel like I was doing to much reading while watching it. It didn’t put me off the film at all. That being said I do like the way that some main characters just randomly go you know what I’m now going to speak English is that ok with the rest of you in French & then they go of course & then start talking English. I dint learn any French or German though while watching the film, & iv seen it a few times now so I’m letting the side down.

Elephant two. The world war didn’t end in 1944 in a cinema in Paris. Nope history doesn’t say that. It was 1945 in Berlin. Which makes this fiction not fact, so historians don’t moan.

Ok Elephants done I think let’s get going.

Christoph Waltz. The man who has now made a career out of being a villain. Oh & what an evil man he is. He so deserves his Oscar. What a performance German French Italian English & sarcasm. Yet I sat there kinda wanting him to have an ending he deserved & not for him to die. Even tho his job was horrific & he should have been punished, I want him to get to that island. I can’t wait to see him in Bond this year.

Brad Pitt, I thought would be an annoyance for me in this film, speaking with that accent, with that hair, & the white suit, I did genuinely think that I was going to get pissed off with him over acting & trying to be a Hollywood star. He did none of this. He blended into the film so much that after the first time we meet him I then don’t properly process it’s him until he is in that white suit playing a movie star. That’s either amazing acting or directing or both.

Daniel Bruhl is just a new comer in this film no one really knew who he was before this movie. His relationship with Melanie Laurent is brilliant. She constantly is rejecting him & telling him no. Even his war hero efforts can’t seem to woe her. Yes I now it 1944 & he’s a German but he’s so clearly a puppy dog I’d have paid some attention to him. She only really seems to care when she shoots him in the back 6 times & then when she goes to care for him he shoots her back, not that it was going to matter they were both going to die anyhow.

it is clever how she was the Jewish girl in the opening part of the film that escaped, and that she in theory gets the last laugh. Tarantino likes to do that with his films. What goes around comes around, even down to a glass of milk. Therefore her video about killing them all is beautiful, which she adds to the Movie. It also helps the the 2 remaining bastards & the 3 bombs shooting Hitler in the face & exploding everything is so cool.

Michael Fassbender isn’t in the film long, but it’s longer than both Samuel L Jackson (narrator) Mike Myers (churchills aid) & Tarantino himself, he is the first head to be scalped on the bastards raids. He so good though. Could have just left them all in that pub for a very long time could have got them more drunk & seen it all completely go mad, not that it didn’t anyhow. The English 3 grrrr.

Diane Krugers character, she plays an actress who’s a double agent. Did she know they were willing to blow up the theatre in the first place? Why did she go along with it, not only did she get shot in the leg but then she’d have gone to a film premier & Sat there quiet happily knowing full well the the 3 men around her were going to blow up. That’s not just a bye to your acting career that’s bye to your life & soul. I don’t think she’s put much thought into this has she.

the head carvings. Oh ouch ouch ouch cleaved but ouch. Nope no way pepe. The fact that they all judge them the longer they move into the film & that they get better.

This film is properly brilliant. It doesn’t bother me that’s it’s not factually correct or in English. I love it. When I have kids & I believe they are old enough to see this film I will let them watch it. Until then I’m going to leave you with a line from Hugo Stigletz. Say good bye to you big hairy German balls.