Spoilers?

We all know the myth & we all saw it as kids right, so time to revisit Pocahontas & see how its stood the test of time. Im hoping it has, & if it hasnt it Christian Bale speaking in his english accent so that will be a bonus.

I will try not to talk about historical inaccuracy’s, as i dont know enough about it (sorry for my lack of education) but i know they got quite a bit wrong with it. Didnt the real Pocahontas or person her legend is based on die on her way to london? Sorry if im getting that wrong but i can see why disney decided not to include that & let her live at the end.

There is too much Miko vs Percy in this fim. I recon as a kid i loved that but now as an adult watching it & wanting the story to develop i dont need to be entertained every 6 minutes by a battle between them be in a mud fight, steeling cherries, dog biscuits. Nah i dont need that. The best side kick in Flick & they are perceived as a bit of an irritant, but they are the much better side character.

I know its a kids film & things need to move along for the plot, however all it takes is a bit of wind blowing through anyone which is her mothers spirit for them to be able to understand each other & breakdown the language barrier. I mean im calling the wind a fucking McGuffin now as it moves the plot along. I mean yeah for kids they need to understand it, but the wind… bollocks.

Christian Bales Character has the best arc & story in this film, from saying bye to his family, near death & drowning on the way to the Americas, not being able to dig or fight to being the killer & then saving the day & taking charge as well at the end. Its a brilliant character development where it shows he takes on everything hes learnt through out. The film should be called Thomas. Also how did they not die in the middle of the Atlantic im calling bullshit on that, no way does he survive falling overboard, & noway can John Smith catch back up to the boat & survive hypoferremia after saving him.

Was this Mel Gibsons audition for being Rocky in Chicken Run? I mean he trying to be english in a film about the english claiming america, ha get over yourself film. Hes not even hiding that accent, its obviously american & awkward that hes there trying to be “English”.

So when littleun popcorn was even more little & we used to watch this on VHS (yea some of you know what im on about) we used to watch this film & when it go the were savages song, she thought they said sandwiches. So to this day in our family when that songs comes on its Sandwiches. Much nicer approach. They just wanted food & it was before breakfast they headed off to fight, so she had a fair point.

How did that dog, bird & racoon (which isnt even rocket) mend that necklace. I mean unless it was always in bit anyhow & all they needed was new string then at a push thats believable but nah not having that.

Imagine how easy tattoo would be if all it took was just a quick paint & it lasts for ever. Thats what happened Kocoum & i mean that stays for ages. I mean i might have a filled in butterfly on my left wrist if that was the case. Im happy with my butterfly dont get me wrong but that one part of the tattoo hurt more than the rest of them combined.

Kocoum is the oh you must marry this guy guy, but he is crap throughout the film. He comes home a hero warrior which we never see & after like 2mins isnt mentioned again, then she mopes around a bit, that hes sent to go find her & gets pissed when someone hes hardly spent any time with & had no chemistry with is kissing someone else & then hes dead & takes out the necklace at the same time. Little to no sympathy for him when he dies, hes collateral damage & just there to move the plot on. Maybe he is the mcguffin.

Colours of the wind is one hell of a song & the animation is amazing & so stunning & it really does feel like diseny went we are going metaphors all the way here & just putting the profit from the lion king into this one song. I mean the other songs are okay, but do have highs & lows where as this one just nails it from start to finish.

How is her hair that epic all the time, its constantly being blown about by the wind, or flying across her face, or shes leaping off a cliff, or being platted by some creature. Thats the most unrealistic thing about this film. I have really short hair at the moment & when ever i cross the bridge to get to my office my hair is a state due to the breeze. So yea her hair isnt looking that good at all ever people.

Billy Conley is both brothers isnt he? & Ratcliffe guy also provides the voice for his random side kick. There are so many sidekicks or just random people introduced for 3 mins & then we dont care about them.

Miko decided ah the compass is useful now & compasses dont work like that, unless of course he had broke it. Or she just got bloody lucky that north was where the cliff face was.

Theres a lot of gun fire & injury in this film, but no blood or to much pain at all, its all just left out i a slight way.

I get that love concurs all & that everyone should give everyone another chance & understand each other & be willing to listen, thats a very important life lesson that some people need to take on to this day. But The pain never looks do bad if they live through.

She then turns down the chance to go back with him after all that & loving him & being told its okay you can go with him, shes like nah homes home. I mean yes to being a strong independent woman but why did it have to take a man to show her that, no no nope! Booo. I mean yeah its nice the tribe & the settlers then learn to live together but still she had a chance to live a new life.

The repeated lines all happen very quickly after each other in this film & at the end of the film as well in the thrid act. IT needed to be at least in the second but not in the third.

I did enjoy it, but looking at it as an adult now, there are much better diseney films out there ( should say there is a lot lot lot worse than this) but colours of the wind & some of the beautiful animation puts it in a good disney film tier. Its well worth a re-watch people. You will be mesmerised & go wow at points & then go the hell at other.

Just to end as a Brit, id liek to apologise for my ancestors invading your country &just claiming it as our own, we were dicks then (some brits still are if im honest).