Welcome to the 2023 Cinema Club Golden Corn Awards…

We did it. Cinema club 2023 is closed & the year of film is over, yes it is. We did things film wise that we never thought wed do. We got 8 away from joining the 100 cinema club (we will do it next year, promise {its off to a good start}), i got to meet some of my friends in real life, we saw some epic movies & we did Barbenheimer in a 24h period. We had strikes all over the place & we watched the rise & fall & rise of some companies, franchises & performers across the last 12 months. So its time to celebrate it all by handing out my awards for the last 12 months. (also i know you wont be getting this on new years day in 2024 but everything was sorted & picked by 27th December 2023)

So what happens at my awards (if your new here which a lots of you i know are), well there is no actual award. Ive never made one to hand out, & they arent the most conventional awards either, if youve been here before you know the randomness of this. But some of these films wont be recognised in award season, so im here to make sure they bloody well are, for all the right & wrong reasons. We have our main awards too, which will culminate in the presentation of the golden buzzer winner & therefore the Cinema Clubs Film of the Year for 2023 (although a lot of you know this already as i spoiled this way before we got to the last week of December).

So lets press on shall we. 43 awards in total to hand out & give to some deserving winners. Peoples, Besties & Lovies are we ready, welcome to the Popcorn for One Cinema Club Awards for 2023…..
Ohhh spoilers by the way, thats your warning here. This is now your own fault if you see something you didnt want to know about.

43) My Moment of 2023
Meeting Mads & the girls
Im not sure i will ever be over this. I finally got to meet Nat & Fabi at Star Wars Celebration & their husbands. Thank you all for letting me crash your parties for 48hours & be a 5th wheel. It was amazing. & then there was Mad. So nice, epic hug, so charming just ahhhhh. I still feel giddy thinking about how i met one of my favourite actors in the world. It was incredible.

42) Did I Predict 2023 Correctly
Strikes mucked me about but otherwise pretty good
yea if we didnt have the Writers & actors strikes, things would be a bit different here. Productions stalled, or press didnt happen which meant films were delayed. Its got a bit messy which if youve heard my podcast (click here) youll know wasnt a fair fight. But overall we did a bloody good job at completing the hitlist. It will be nice to finally get it done thought.

41) The Number of Films I Considered for the Golden Buzzer in 2023
6
yep 6 films & yet once again the film that came 3rd on my list of the year i didnt have as a contender but it made me push it.
The nominees were (in alphabetical order)
Across The SpiderVerse
Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3
The Little Mermaid
Marcel The Shell With Shoes on
Missing
Oppenheimer

40) Film Place I’ve Visited This Year
everything at Star Wars Celebration.
I just had the best 2 days at easter ever. As well as meeting my friend & Mads, i heard some wonderful people talk, talked mando & darth, got some cool swag & just lived my best life. I had different people ask me where i got my mando & grogu shirt from too, which was nice. Even my mum likes that top.

39) The Film We Didnt Actually Need in 2023
Hypnotic
2012 called & asked for its film back. It felt lazy, it was not fun, there was too much exposition at points. Ben Affleck was wooden (he didnt direct) A Cliff hanger ending we will never get an answer too, powers that were crap. It just… urgh… yea it pissed me off a lot that people think they can make this in 2023 & not 2013.

38) The Dullest Film of the Year
Whats Love Got To Do With It
When i was ranking the films at the end of the year i saw this film & i went hang on sis i go see a Tina Turner Biopic… nope i didnt It was a romcom & all i can tell you is the Emma Thompson was fab &their was a tree house, thats all i can genuinely remember. So yea not a good one, hence very Dull. At least some of the crap films were crap enough to make me go oh i saw that did i. Love Again was very close too, if it wasnt for Russel Tovey.

37) Any Freebies?
the advance screening gifts, star wars shiz & my free popcorn for my cineworld anniversary.
So this year cineworld started giving out free snacks or gifts at the advanced screening. This also happened to be the year i got to the least of these due to moving jobs. Urgh oh well. However i did get a free bag or popcorn when i told cineworld it was my 3rd year anniversary with them so thanks for that. Also i got quite a lot of random star wars shiz thanks for Star Wars Celebration, that was very cool indeed.

36) Animal Performance in a Film (In Honour of the Swan from Hot Fuzz)
That Horse in Napoleon
At the start of Napoleon about 10mins in ish theres a battle & a horse is blown up. I know it was CGI & no horses died, however, it looked bloody spectacular & for it to go that crazy really means the actual horse must have been spooked so good on that horse.

35) Best Remake / Reboot
The Ballard of Songbirds & Snakes
We returned post war to the world of the hunger games & it worked. It really did. Okay there was a few too many songs, but she does sing, thats how she wins her favours over. But i had a blast & it felt like 10 years ago was just yesterday. Very happy with that.

34) The Film I Will Never Look At The Same Way Again
Thor (thanks to Loki season 2 finale)
We have still been watching Hiddleston stuff every now & then. We havent yet rewatched as a group the end of Loki season 2, but the finale changed what Thor believes in the first film he stared in. If only he knew. It just makes it so much sadder now.

33) Best Performance in an Otherwise Crap Film
Tom Hiddleston in Skull Island
Skull Island really is one of the crappest films ever, & i mean it however, Tom owns it. If he doesnt it all falls apart & yes that shirt does help & the fact its Tom but damn its bad & hes so fine in it & makes it just about bearable.

32) Worst Home Viewing Film of the Year
Moonraker
After doing all 25 bond films in one go youd think this would have a chance of moving off that bottom spot… nope. Its still crap & cheesy & it just got on my nerves a lot. & i started with an open mind. Because you know there was a huge chance that because all i had been doing was watching James Bond Movies that id be in the mood for it… sadly not. Its still complete crap.

31) Animated / Children’s Film of the year
The Little Mermaid
I want to be where the people are & i had a good old cry at this. Ariel is my Disney princess this was the one i had been waiting for & it delivered. It loved it & ahhhhhhhhhhhh it just worked it really really did.

30) Mis-Sold Film of the Year
Ferrari
I thought we would get a lot more about racing & cars. & i am very glad we saw two really horrific crashes but i wanted more. I get that there was a man behind the story or the car, but the trailers sold me a more car & racing centric film that a love triangle & a man about to go bust. It let me down a little, what i saw was good but was not the film that was advertised to me when no ones else could do press for months due to strikes.

29) The Film That I Liked That No One Else In The Entire World Did
The Creator
This film made me hit my golden buzzer for film of the year, even thought it wasnt in my nominee categories, but it made me realise Cinema wouldnt do that much better this year. I saw this at secret cinema & on Screen X & it got more powerful with each viewing. Its how big new movies should be done & i loved every second of it. But due to the strikes it wasnt well advertised & just fell to word of mouth. If it came out in November & not September it would be so much more loved & celebrated.

28) Worst Cinema Club Film
Summotherhood
I dont really want to talk about this film. My review of the film here shows how pissed off i was at this movie. Yea it was complete crap avoid.

27) The Film I need to see in 2024 the most
Paddington in Peru
How can you not want to see our little bear back on the big screen. I know Paddington 2 is deemed one of the most perfect films in the world so this has a lot of hype to live up to but i really dont care. This would be my number 1 pick of 2024… but…

26) The Film I need to see in 2024 the most that was on last years list
Dune Part 2
….This is my number 1 pick. It was in my top 5 to watch in 23 but it delayed itself due to the strikes, so yea its the number 1 pick of this year for sure (fyi i picked these awards well before March 1st when cinema changed forever with this film by the way)

25) Quote of the Year
My life was black & white before i met Sonya, She was the Colour… Tom Hanks as Otto in A Man called Otto
This was one of the first films i saw of 2023 & there have been many more quotes that have happened this year. But this was so pure & perfect, i just couldnt get it out of my head. Its what real love is & it just melts my heart so much

24) Best Song in a Film
Peaches
How this hasnt even made the oscars long list has baffled me so much. It was all anyone sung all spring. It was Tenacious D for Kids & it worked & it needs all the praise. Forget Barbie & its soundtrack. Peaches was phenomenal & needs to be celebrated.

23) Cried When I Should have
I lost something speech the last of us
Breaking my own rules for Pedro… yep why not… I had cried a lot before this point. But watching Pedro cry & give that speech almost on the spot, that hurt. He was clearly thinking about his mum & his character & it broke my little heart that our man was crying real tears & that hard ruthless Joel had finally cracked after months & years of pain. Its beautiful.

22) Cried When I Shouldnt have
Coriolanus saying goodbye
Again breaking my rules… we watched this as apart of our Tom watch-a-longs & when he realises hes been betrayed & is about to die & he says goodbye to his wife & family & closest ally’s the chat went quiet & someone about 5 minutes later messaged & went were all crying arent we.. & we all were. I know good acting makes you cry but for all 5 of us to be sobbing really was something.

21) They were just misunderstood award
Anyone played by Pedro Pascal (but mainly Dave)
The most redisclose award i know, but this will be useful going forward, but someone did ask me do you have a Pedro Pascal Award & i was like i cant do that, i take these awards seriously & so they shouted well make one up then. So here it is & here are all the examples of him being misunderstood from my 2023 viewing.
Dieter… seen as an idiot & sex addict but just wants to be taken seriously & wants to find the one
Frankie… wants out & is seen as a hard man but only does it for his captain, is trying to get off the drugs for his baby & also has ptsd
Marcus Moreno… seen as a super hero but just wants the best for his little girl & family
Javi G… assumed as a drug dealer & mafia boss but is just he sweetest loyal man in the world
Jack Daniels… an agent turn coat who ends up wanting to avenge his first love & unborn baby & in theory has a fair reason & motive to do so
Max P… Evil Vampire but wants whats best for business & productivity (does go the wrong way about it though but lets ignore that for now)
Silva… seen as a slut willing to sleep with his ex to save his son but then proves his loyalty at the end & risks it all to save everyone he loves
Ezra… in it for the money but then does everything to get him & the girl home
Joel Miller… Evil rude ruthless smuggler but he just has lost everything & doesnt show his emotions & is going through trauma & becomes Ellys father figure & saviour.

& then we have DAVID CHRISTOPHER YORK… was doing his job, to provide for his family, & was doing what McCall did its just he got paid for it. He also talks about how no one gave a crap about him after it all went wrong & hes just a name on a wall for his service. Dave is so misunderstood & survived the fall (& does have the best kitchen counter in cinema).

20) The Person I Cheered When they were Rightly Put in their Place
The Old Woman who was mean in Brooklynn
So i didnt intend to watch Brooklynn it was on one night when i came back from the Cinema & i just put it on while i got ready to bed next think i know it was 1am & i was shouting at an elderly lady who tried to blackmail everyone & was an original Karen. She really really pissed me off this year.

19) The Person I wanted to Punch in the Face for being such a convincing Bad Guy
Everyone who beat up Mads in The Hunt
The grocery & the church scenes were the worst. It was the fact it should have all been sorted out too, but no they beat him up so badly & just didnt give a shit. How dare you beat up Mads. I am not down for that at all.

18) The Film that didnt Match the Hype
The Flash
The trailer ruined it, by revealing Keaton was back (which i did know before hand but still) but it just wasnt exciting or interesting & i worked out quiet early on what was going to happen & how it was going to go down. It was meant to be a jewel in a DC crown but it is one of the final nails in the coffin for it. DC had a lackluster year at best & this was the worst of it all.

17) The Film The Exceeded The Hype
Gran Turismo
Notoriously films or TV shows created from Video games are crap, thats what the world says anyhow, not me & this year proved it with The Last of Us & Gran Turismo. Yes it told the real life story about a kid who played the game & went through their training but using the game graphics about the drive & what he was doing was a good mic of it all. It nailed almost everything it in. It came out at a bad time of the year in the middle of Barbenheimer but i sat in the cinema watching people go come on kid, learning forward in their chairs. It really really worked.

16) The best Ensemble / Cast Performance
Oppenheimer / Little Miss Sunshine
Oppenheimer just kept them coming, every single person suddenly appeared & be in they were in it for 5 minutes or 3hours & 11 seconds, everyone bright their a game. I mean Gary Oldman was in one scene & was incredible.
Little Miss Sunshine had a much smaller cast but ahhhhhh their chemistry & dynamic was spot on & i felt like i was a misfit in their family. They just belonged & it just worked.

15) Best Actor
Ryan Gosling
Kens favourite song is Push by Matchbox Twenty. Any other year he might win best supporting actor, but this year he stands no change. But he nailed his barbie performance.
Drive was an incredible film, he was so moody & so ruthless & so good. It was a pleasure to watch.
The romantic lead & ladies man he was in Crazy Stupid Love, yea he was fricken photoshopped but damn he was good.
How can he not get this award. Every performance was spot on.

14) Best Actress
Vanessa Kirby (again)
Yea shes won it again.
Mission Impossible she actually had quite a bit to do & had to play herself twice if that makes sense.
The Son she had to deal with a lot of trauma that wasnt her fault & handled an amazing mental break down of her partner so well.
She was the best part of Napoleon too. She was incredible in that.
How can you not love this woman & her performances.

13) The Wow I didnt know they had it in them to do that Performance
Tom Davies for Wonka
For those who dont know who Tom Davies is he is a UK comedian whos been in a few british films & was the hard guy in Paddington 2 in the prison. Maybe its because he was working with Coleman but damn he owned his part. YEs it was mainly funny & slapstick but it still needed to be done & he owned it. I laughed whenever he was on screen & i can see him getting a lots more larger comedic roles going forwards in films.

12) Surprise Film of the Year 2023
80 for Brady / Gran Turismo
I talked about Gran Turismo above a few awards ago about how it had people on the edge of their seat. But 80 for Brady needs a mention too. A film about life & struggles, about friendship, about belief & dreams & about ageing disgracefully. & then after all of that, it then becomes a sports film for the entire 3rd act. I was fully expecting it to be meh & i loved every second of it.

11) DVD Film of the year
The James Bondathon
We have paused the a to z of physical media & we did do all of Indi as well, but no it was the Bondathon that took a good amount of time to do. & i loved every second (except for Moonraker obviously) but it was so good watching him evolve & everyone brought there own to the character. I loved it so much. A brilliant way to spend wednesday & sunday nights.

Right Here we go people the Top 10 Awards of the year. Some Major Spoilers coming up im sure here, heres another warning for you. This is now your own fault

10) Best Random Recommendation from the Letterboxd Community
The Hunt
Letterboxd had been on about this for a while & then after i met Mads & had seen a few other bits he was in i was like okay lets watch the Hunt… Its phenomenal. I loved it. IT was also so shocking & horrible too at how peoples opinions of someone change & how rumours can be spread but it was so well acted & i felt really uncomfortable watching it. Its very hard to recommend but i seriously think you should all watch this at least once in your life.


9) The Inspirational Fuck Me Thats Stunning Moment
The score & lack of score when the bomb goes off in Oppenheimer
First time seeing Oppenheimer the score mesmerised me & then when i saw it the second time in Imax i was like i can cope this will be fine. & no matter how much i was prepared for that long agonising build to that wall of silence, the then loud combustion almost threw me out of my chair. It just worked so so so well & it was a pleasure to watch &then it made you feel so small & insignificant in everything.


8) The Leonardo DiCaprio Award for Hard Work & Perseverance
Michael Caine
To quote the protagonist from Tenet… Thank your Sir Michael. From blowing bloody doors or to running away to D-D ay celebrations. Being Alfred & being a gangster. You owned it all & you have always been there acting your socks off in my life time. So thank you so so much.
Usually this award goes to an unsung hero of sorts or someone who deserved it for bossing it (2024 this is Pedro’s to lose) but when Caine says hes retiring it has to go to him.


7) The Film that hasnt won an award but fucking deserves an award for being amazing
Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3
Im still not over this yet. I really am not. A family story in 3 different ways. A story about the past present & future. About belonging. About seeing the good in everyone. An evil villain. Lots of crying & saying goodbye to my little misfits who made me feel like i belonged. It was perfect & the fact that ive not given it an award is a crime. So its getting this one. WE ARE GROOT!


6) The Life Time Achievement
Michael Gambon
Put your wands in the air for Gambon. Dumbledore has gone to the sky.
Obviously hes so much more than that. MR Fox, Paddington, Layer cake, the Good Shepheard, Judy, King Speech, Kingsman & who can forget Ali G in Da House… a great character actor. Always seemed so nice on chat show & always gave his time. Just a bit of a gent & a legend. We will miss him a lot.

Right this really is it now the 5 that really really do matter

5) I Stole the Show
Robert Downey Junior

I sat there at the end of my opening night showing of Oppenheimer knowing full well that RDJ was going to be oscar nominated. People in years to come will talks about this performance. & it was in a film filled with stunning performances but for the 28minutes he was on screen, he stole the show completely. If that doesnt get him a little golden statue nothing will.


4) Unsung Heroes
America Ferrera for her monologue in Barbie

I know this now probably doesnt have the same impact as it did in July last year but i wasnt expecting for Barbie to drop an existential crises on me at the end of act 2 & for me to cry & realise i needed to change something in my life. So yea thats why this is still in there, because it called out life for being bullshit at times & it just not being fair.


3) First Time Watching film of the year
Little Miss Sunshine & The Last of Us
yes ive picked 2 but they both deserve it

For years i had wanted to watch little miss sunshine but had never got around to it & then bang it was on Disney plus & i was like this is my chance. & it deserves the world. It calls out the world, but deals with real people issues & shames those who just dont understand. It just works so well on so many levels. I laughed cried & cheered & didnt want it to end. Its one of those films that just grips your soul & your a better person for watching it.

& then there is this. I know this is a film blog, but damn. For 9 weeks my dad came around & was my support blanket & watched me fall apart each Monday night. I mean it helps it has out softie as the lead, but id have watched this whoever was Joel Miller & his relationship with Elly & Bella was beautiful. & it was scary but was ultimately a journey of salvation for everyone. It was done so well & would be getting so many more accolades if it wasnt for Succession. Its the best new TV ive watched since Its A Sin. Stunning & heart-breaking


2) Cinema Film of the Year
Oppenheimer

since i have done this semi properly there have been 3 Nolan film be in the cinema & each time they have been awarded the cinema film of the year due to being spectacular & epic & needed on the big screen (which i finally had my first imax trip with this one) but they have never won a golden buzzer. I think part of that is me going i cant give it the overall film of the year as you will all think its Nolan bias. But Oppenheimer deserves this for the scale &the score & the visuals. Its a masterpiece & needs to be watched on as big a screen as possible. You will be a different person when you are done.
Both reviews can be found here & here.

& Finally the crowning glory the award you have all been waiting for
1) The Golden Buzzer & Winner of Cinema Club 2023’s Film of the Year is…
MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON

How can you not be in love with little Marcel. Hes perfect. Yes the film was cliché & predictable but it had some stunning life lessons & was just exactly what i wanted it to be. Sometime in life the film of the year isnt a big blockbuster or something over the top or by your favourite director. Maybe all you need in life is to have a good cry & feel complete which is how Marcel makes me feel a lot. If you want to ready my cinema club 2023 review of it here it is. Is it just the sweetest thing ever


& that was the 2023 Golden Corns.
Cinema Club 2023 is officially closed & we are already on our way in 2024
Thank you for reading & listening in the last year & putting up with the tweet-a-longs & Stanning & even if youve just skipped to the end of this thank you. I really do appreciate every single one of you for the time & effort you put into this madness.
I hope youve found some films here that youd like to watch that you didnt know about (& maybe a few to avoid). Please enjoy the year of film 2024 is going to be, its going to be epic. I mean my watch list wrote itself for once.
Now off to the cinema you pop peoples its award season after all. & dont forget to keep & protect your physical media.