This had better be worth the hellish drive into town. Loads of road works, it being friday, the a27 cut through down to 1 lane & a marathon at the weekend, yea its taken me a while to get in, so im hoping this Minecraft movie is just about passable.

You dont often get this here but…
& then the film started… well it didnt but i need to talk about the culture & it needs to be in with the main review.

So id like to give a big shout out to all of the staff who had to deal with Minecraft audiances, mine was not as bad as some that ive seen online but fuck a duck. But id really like to give a shout out to mine at Brighton Cineworld.
So lots of parents got their kids tickets who then just scanned the tickets on their parents phone while they went else where & just let their groups of kids in, who sat where ever the hell they wanted. The best thing to come out of covid is allocated seats at all cinemas. Seriously it makes life so much easier, no rush to get a decent chair. But when youve got a load of kids who are then told by families & adults no these are our seat & then they are all rude to each other thats not good. So many people has to swap seats.

Now i get the whole oooh this is a moment & this needs a reactions. As someone who is apart of several fandoms & waits for certain easter eggs its a big thing for me to sit & see stuff like this. However for every single thing to be greeted with a reaction like it was the winning goal in the champions league final was a bit much. I mean i get it we all did cheer & go yes at cap saying avengers assemble finally & also when han solo said chewie were home, but it was respectful. When he said my name is steve, i didnt hear the next 30seconds of the film due to the cheering & yelling. Im pretty sure i missed a load of jokes too just to lines. & the final song in the film, i have no idea about what is sung there couldnt heara thing. I get someone goign oh god or not realisign they have siad it out loud, but if this is the future of event cinema with gen z & alpha im not down for it. I am never moanign about goign to a quiet film viewing ever again where its me & 5 others. It didnt need that reaction for every line.

I get i am not the target audience. I am not a kid or a teen & have never played minecraft, but i know enough about it to know what a lot of the stuff is. So now were going to write about this about the actual film as a cinema buff & what i actually thought of the movie.

The script was crap. Im sorry. Ive written more detailed & emotional emails about work than they did with the script. Yes they have stuff they have to put it to come from the game but so does every other IP out there, you can make your story better peoples.

Lava chicken song? Really. Its not even peaches or a minor geeeeeeeeeeeeee… urgh

I was expecting a lot more minecraft stuff to make it into the real world, i really was. Also that date in the real world really didnt go anywhere at all. But yea i was expecting a few more creatures to get out but they didnt.

Jack Black was okay. I have no idea what Steve is meant to be, but at point it felt a little wooden. But at least he was better than the kids. I dont like hating on kid actors, but both were extremely meh as was the adult who came with them who for some reason was an estate agent & a petting zoe person… no idea. Hoping thats a game reference. Their back story was the same copy & paste from any other film like this ever. Jason Momoa at least knew this was a payday so camped it up & went ahh fuck it & had fun for sure.

No Pig left behind! I was the only person who laughed at that reference, clearly the only Hunt for the Wilderpeople fan in my screening. No one else got the references.

For a film called minecraft which is all about building & creating, there was a lack of it. There was also a line about creation & imagination being unlimited at the end of the film… erm film have you seen what you are.? You are a fucking minecraft movie, you are copied & pasted blandly from an existing product.

I am not band wagon jumping by sayign this film was crap, because it was. I get some of the reactions to this, but this was worse then the gentle minions. If this is how the future are going to act each time they go to the movies & if they are going to keep making movies like this, god help all us cinema nerd.