Spoilers

Dont shout dont shout please… ive never see Con Air all the way through. I remember being in my early teens & it always being on tv as i was about to go to bed at the weekend. Bit like how Hot Fuzz or Snow Piercer is on ITV or Film 4 as im off to bed. But i didnt ever have the feel for it or bother about catching up on it. Ive seen bit of it but never it all the way through.

Then we started going to our film quiz (bloody miss them) & whenever we had no idea about a late 90s question, my friend would always just sit there grab a pen & write down Nicholas Cage or Con Air for an answer & we let her do that at least once per quiz. The guy in charge of the quiz worked this out & then one week put in question where the answer was Con Air. We didnt put it down & literally all just screamed at each other when it was announced. The two teams who usually marked our answers just fell about laughing for a good 5mins & the quiz master was like girls seriously.

So i had every intention of watching it. i really did but just hadnt. & then the opening 2minutes of Unbearable Weight are the start of Con Air (Javi this is your fault). & i was like ahhhhh ive now really really got to find it, to see if Nicholas Cage really is that fucking cool. So ive found it. Its on my parents Prime account (my mums algorithm is now really fucked on there, its all over the place just give me my own login). So lets do this. Ive got cookie dough ice cream & Jack Daniels to drink, lets do this peoples. When i messaged my friend to say i was watching it she was very proud.

So ive just text my family who have all seen this before & asked if its meant to be a serious action film or if its a comedy action film. The undeniable response was serious action film… so why the hell did i laugh that much last night. Why why why. IT was bloody funny. Maybe it was the 90s style & the over the top ness of it all. But i shouldnt have laughed that much.

Nicholas Cage is good, theres no denying that. It is his gig after all, & he is the hero. He even gets the wind blowing through his hair at one moment. But it is very cliché. I guess thats my own fault tho for being a lover of action films & one from the 90s is gonna be the case isnt it. It really is. He is the star tho, considering who else is in the film.

The best person in the film tho is Steve Buscemi. Oh my god. He was really freaky especially when he went off to go find that little girl during act 2. He doesnt say or do much but every time he does you just think oh god no. & then he bloody escapes & gets away at the end. I wasnt sure if i was happy with that or not. He also turns up as Hannibal when hes put on the plane.

Just Sack Pat (see Partridge Alpha Papa) was in it being incompetent which was brilliant. I knew the second he put that agent on the plane, that he was either going to side with the villains or be dead in 10 mins. So much so that i tweeted that & then when he did die, i paused the film & went back to when i sent that tweet… 9min48seconds ago. I mean i know im good at spotting stuff in films, but that. I was amazed with myself. I has another scoop of ice-cream as a reward.

Is this where the cool guys dont look at explosions comes from all those years ago. It felt like it. There was lots of fire explosions & stuff going off with either slow mo jumping out of the way or walking with it all going kaboom in the back ground.

John Cusack was the only person with any sense at all, no one bloody listened to him at all, not one fucker. As much as Just Sack Pats car was quick he would have never got to that abandoned air strip before that plane, no way pepe. & then the team up at the end. He is a good character, & i wish we knew a bit more about him, that just being a good agent.

I knew it would happen that the second he found his friend the insulin he needed, that his friend would almost be killed. So when the did get shot & it was literally 2min later & not even 10min i was like you could have dragged that out a bit more.

The body dropping from the plane, no one noticed him writing that message & then the comical timing of it landing on the car after talking about luck. Surly that impact on the roof from that high would have killed the passengers too.

Put the Bunny back in the box. How many times did he say that in 3mins. About 8… its still funny tho. & yes of course the bunny survives it all so he can give it to his little girl.

I love how one second they are in the canyon in loads of day light having that flight fight & then they get to vegas & its completely dark & night time, not good continuity there, but hay its a 90s film & if your planes got to crash into the hard rock hotel guitar, its got to do it with all the lights at night time hasnt it. I mean that car wont need towing away now & of course the casino slots pay out the second the plane crashes into it. I laughed at that, knew it would happen.

There are so many random people on that plane who are well known actors. Had the first Mission Impossible happened at that point (googles) yes it had fair enough, but there was just so many ahh yes of course they are a bad guy on this plane. IT was a rouges Gallery. John Malkovich was bloody sadistic tho. even Danny Trejo. I like once he was declared dead they removed him from the plane, but hed been torn apart & just his arm was left in the celling. Well he isnt going to need it. Although cheers Nicholas Cage for standing up for Womens Bodies & rights back in the 90s. America pay attention.

The prison montage & 8 years in prison pass bloody quick dont they.

So this is where Leanne Rhymes How Do I Live comes from. Every moment of reflection it was just played in the back ground a little bit. I mean the end (which i had already seen twice this year {cheers Pedro}) had most of it, but so did the bar at the start. Also in that opening bar fight outside as much as he was a trained marine, no way would that punch had killed him There was some dodgy punching or attacking in this film where they clearly didnt even get close to hitting the other person & it was badly edited. Shame. Also for this kinda 90s action film which is mean to be serious i was expecting a bit more blood & guts that we got.

I think i need to watch a cinema sins video for this, my head just kept coming up with stuff they would say, i recon it would be brilliant. Especially when at the 30min mark they actually said the line Welcome to Con Air… ROLL CREDITS!

There was one point where one of the prisoners had written a book which was so well received, they were talking about Denzel playing him in the film. Now that is very Meta of the film it really is, especially for the 90s. Now would have just been like oh okay but back in the 90s that would have been like woooooo.

I had a blast & laughed a lot at this. I now know i was meant to see it as a serious action film, but there were so many clichés & weird movements in it, it was hard not to. I guess thats what is expected with such a 90s film in the year 2022, but hey i dont care. I did enjoy it though & i am glad ive seen it now. My friends gonna have to come up with a new answer if our film quizzes ever come back as i will no shes not right if we put it down.

Shame i dont own Unbearable Weight yet could have just moved straight onto that, but then id have to watch Paddington 2 as well, & i dont have time for that.