Spoilers

Next Part of the MCU athon, & its time to meet Thor… that god guy with the lightning who ive mentioned on here a few times & his ugly brother Loki (mainly because Loki is not attractive, but Tom Hiddleston is) yep time to fly off to Asguard with Sir Ken & see whats going down in this one.

This film is a mess, it is. How can Ken make films like Belfast & also be responsible for this. Its carnage. Its not coherent. Theres some attrocious acting & its just urgh. I get so angry with it i really do. This is meant to set up someone so iconic that we all knew before the MCU. Everyone knows about Thor & Odin & Norse mythology & this just fucks it up so much & argh. Im sorry but its the second worst film in the MCU & im trying to get all my really mean moaning done to start with.

Lokis plan is so flawed
Odin is a crap father
Thor doesnt really learn his lesson
shield turn up literally just to link it
The warriors 3 oh god
lack of Idris
& then a really weird ending…
its just ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Right lets try & do this constructively now ive moaned about it. & also i moan out of love too. Whenever i watch this i want it to be better than it actually is, & then always feel so let down at the end. I know its to get the avengers together, but still.

Okay so banishing Thor being a brat is epic. I love that. He so deserves it & seeing him as a fish out of water on earth is fun, but he just happens to bump into (multiple times as meet cutes) the one group who could actually help him or would be of significance for Shield. But he then doesnt really earn his powers back. I mean Hemsworth plays him as a spoilt brat very well, but when we get to the end, whats he learnt. That he loves a human he spent 3 days with, is he a disney princess?

Loki, oh poor Loki & you bad hair but epic stance & sit. I mean he should have found out he was adopted much sooner for sure, would have been a lot less pain for him to go through for sure. This whole drama could have been sorted with a simple family dinner & some communication, about Loki being adopted, Thor taking things seriously & not breaking the bio frost. Film solved & sorted. But no. Odin takes an orphan, lies to him, breaks his heart, trys to kill his dad (an Odin sleep is bloody coincidental & convenient isnt it & never mentioned ever again after that moment). But yea Loki does all this for revenge on all of them, then falls to his death & then is back during the credits. I mean Tom does a splendid job but, yea poor Loki so conflicted, no wonder he was so manipulated to be the villain in the Avengers.

Natalie Portman… Im gonna say it again dont hate me, but shes a rubbish actress. Im sorry im sorry she really is. I’m never convinced by her in anything, including black swan. She delivers everything so robotically. Its not enjoyable watching her. She has no chemistry with Hemsworth at all. Its wooden. Hes doing all the longing looks to get something going but shes clearly looking past him & is just like nah im not seeing it. & when shes like no at the end & shes hunting for him its all glazed over & no willing & wanting. Urgh, she makes the film bad.

The warriors 3 we are all meant to learn & care about them & sif but they hardly have any time, & yet they are meant to be a big part of these film. Nah they can do one. & we hardly get any Idris either, i mean we do in the next 2 films but that still no excuse. More character development. I mean i learn more about Hawkeye in the 30seconds hes in this film & Stan Lees truck driver than i do them. Its like they tried to do something with them but just gave up half way through & then went ahh we will send them to Earth with Thor, but actually not do anything rely when they get there. Just a waste of bloody time.

Sheild are actually the most consistent part of this film. & considering we dont know much about them at this point, but still. Colson bosses it, & there whole strategy works & they find him & take all the evidence & want to work out whats going on.

So the end of act 3, Lokis destroyer is bloody cool, but its flawed & of course Thor is easily going to beat it.
Then the frost giants arrive & he kills his own dad to prove loyalty to his adopted crap father.
The Idris unfreezes.
Then the Rainbow road battle is cool but pointless & also how quickly do they repair that bloody thing, its like stealth mode sorting that out.
& then hes like oooh i did it for you dad & hes like nah your a twat so he falls to his “death”…
Seriously what kind of carnage is that. I know the MCU love odd act 3’s but thats just beyond crazy. I hate it. IT jumps all over the place. who the fuck am i meant to route for. Am i meant to love or hate Loki. To quote Lokis scream TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!

The Tesseract begins its McGuffin adventure in this. If you are ever in doubt in the MCU through the tesseract at it. One of its most valuable assets to Phases 1 to 3 for sure, more important than some heroes & side kicks at point.

Asguard does look beautiful im not going to deny that, but some of it is a bit backwards & weird.

We call it Magic but you call it science… really mate, lame chat up line.

How did they get Wifi out there in the desert that strong to do all their stuff in 2011. Seriously. No way peoples oh no.

There are far to many side kicks in this, i mean think of Janes, shes got 2.

The best bit of this is the frost giant v Thor & friends fight. I love that, so much shit goes down & its bloody cool,(pun so intended) Its a brilliant way to end Act 1.

Also having most of Act 1 as a kind of flash back from the opening. & also the opening & then narration afterwards, what the hell is all that about.

Yea its a mess. I mean if we dont get this as a mess, we dont end up with Thor getting cool in the end with Taika, do we. I mean i cant deny some Hemsworth & Hiddleston, but if your first MCU film option is this for any other reason than just watching the Thor films in order, you need to have a long look at yourself.

Basically its tragic & avoid unless you are watching all of the MCU