& we give it back to you…. sorry wrong Tom Hardy Super Villain my bad. But you know I’m off to see Venom at last let’s see if he does give back.

First of Odeon is still shut so I’d like to give a huge shout out to my local independent cinema the Dome in Worthing. As a single cinema goer I tried to book my 1 ticket to see venom online, but I basically fuck up their system & it goes sorry you e left 1 seat empty. Not my fault. So I emailed the dome & they said they could reserve my ticket for me as long as I came & picked up before the £3.50 Monday, & to both our words it worked out so cheers the dome thanks for restoring some hope into the cinema goer.

Also this was my first trip to new screen 3 at the Dome… omg it is soooooooooo cute. Seriously like the most comfortable seats ever. Only problem is they don’t actually fold back so to let people in you all have to basically leave the row, but it’s so cute. Massive screen for the room size ok it’s not huge huge but it’s the size of the wall & that’s good enough for me.

Trailers we had fantastic beasts yes bohemian rhapsody yes & mary poppins & that was it.Oh & because it was £3.50 Monday everything was sold except a 2 in the front row. I recon you can get 65 people in that screen which isn’t bad at all.

& then the film started… & I just wish it had been braver. I really really do.

It didn’t know which side of the superhero world it wanted to be in you know. I wanted it to be darker & edgier & grim & full on. I’m talking Logan without the emotional breakdown at the end. It needed to grab its balls & go for it. But nah it fluffed about with relationships & bits we didn’t need to know about which it should have just gone nah it.

It also didn’t know which Spider-Man world it wanted to be in. A maguire, A Garfield, A Holland, A Spiderverse (stay for the end credits which was odd but cool) or on its own. It made it go a bit Spider-Man 2 meets xmen meets not dc)I know it’s marvel but it was too light to be a dc if you get me).

At the same time as all of this it took itself seriously & then took the piss out of itself as well. All I’m going to say is the lift scene & the word pussy if you’ve seen in from about 1min before that to about 5mins later will tell you all you need to know about this film & it’s tone. It is the best bit of the whole film by the way.

Tom Hardy & Riz Ahmed act their arses off like it’s a please. I mean Tom is just so epic he could stare at a paint can & is nominate him for an Oscar, but Riz is just so cool too(big up to four lions).

Tom chatting to himself is quite cool. I would not argue with that man or give him a weird look if he was doing that it’s fine.

Some of the fight scenes & escape bits are just brilliant you did genuinely feel on the edge of your seat watching them being dragged along with it. Proper intense & amazing filming.

Did feel that we spent a lot of time in act 2 getting ready for the inevitable showdown we know we are going to get & then when we got there we just got their no build up no drama it just happened & that was it 10mins bush bash bosh let’s sum it up & prep for the sequel shall we.

I mentioned the second end credit but earlier but I didn’t get the first or who that guy was. Once you e all see. It answers on a post card or carrier pigeon please. 

Everyone loves a bit of Stan Lee don’t they especially with the ummm yummy quote afterwards. Leave the dog alone.

So Sony get rid of the fluff for number 2 please. Go for an 18 rating fuck it up make it pure evil & horrendous & dark & we will love you forever. It’s a shame really if you’d have been brave & stuck to your guns, this could have been a buzzer contender but it’s not. It’s better than dead pool 2 though.