So little Timmy so much for Marty Supreme being out on boxing day. Only at chains with more than 8 screens. So my cinema choice this lovely wet sunday morning was to go see Avatar (god no) or Anaconda… safe to say i went for Anaconda. Jack Black & Paul Rudd vs a snake. What could go wrong.

I forgot it was a car bootsale dale at the marina uhoh, oh well. It was weird being one of only a few people not at that. Id say there was maybe like 15 people in my screening for this at 11am. Millennials the oldest age group there.

Trailers, Mercy (maybe), Super Mario (probably), The new Statham movie (depends) & Cold Storage (again depends on release day).

& then the film started… well that could have been a lot more but it was just bang average.

For some context im going to tell you that this is about a group of friends who were obsessed with makign films & anaconda when they were little who then “get the rights” to it & go to remake it & it all goes wrong. Jack Blacks Character is the director of the piece & at one point when he says something, Paul Rudd calls him the White Jordan Peele… I LAUGHED FOR ABOUT 3 MINS & MISSED SOME JOKES! The rest of my cinema dead quiet & i was living my best life.

Unfortunately that was the highlight of the entire film.

Paul Rudd im afraid to say has lost his spark. The last few things hes been in that ive seen him in hes not been funny. Even when he has good people to bounce off. You know Jack Black might just now always be an exaggerated Jack Black but Rudd wasnt shining. He was just well there. He didnt add anything to it.

I dont like snakes, they are big red flag no go for me, i just cant deal with them. So this film was already a big step for me to go & see. The massive one once youd first seen it was like oh okay but it was any normalish size snake that freaked me out more. Maybe that also impacted how i saw the film.

There might have been a few sniggers but it wasnt any kind of belly laugh. It never really gripped me with either the adventure or the comedy. It was just on the screen passing time im afraid to say. Also its a 12a (no idea what that is in america) but a lack of blood swearing & violence which mainly happens off screen doesnt get you going. There is only so much you are allowed to say & do.

Did the majority of the budget go on the cameos… If youve seen it you will no. & then did the rest of it go on the pyro & fireworks for the end of the movie, because that was a lot.

The script felt very safe. All the people you half cared about were always safe in theory, but anyone we met on the way, they could be a little snack for a snake for sure.

This wasnt action, or comedy, or nostalgia. Those where the three things it wanted to hit & it just didnt. I recon if your between the ages of 11 to 16 you are going to love this, but it wasnt just very bland & a little bit boring for me im afraid to say. ITs got its place, but its not in my rewatching plans.