Spoilers

When you just flick the channels to find a film so you can write some film reviews in the background & then you fine The Beguiled… oooh happy easter weekend where you can stay up late drink & watch Colin Farrell be seedy, always nice. Very nice in deed.

There is a lot & also not much to talk about with this film if you get me. I mean i know im going to spoil it for you on here, but its a slow build & its all about how people opinions & society changes in the film & then how that effects how you see the changes too. Its very clever at doing that.

Of course every woman in this film feel to Colins charm. Even if you werent in an all ladies boarding house during the civil war & hasnt seen a man be him good or bad for many years youd be charmed by them, let alone them being good looking & then Colin Farrell on top of it. & he rocks it. Oh he rocks being so sassy & powerful & oooooh yes. So much so that when he starts to turn on them, rightly so if im honest, & he threatens them, i still sat there & through this is scary but very sexy. HE nailed it. I know i always sit here & type why does this man not have an oscar, but WHY DOES THIS MAN NOT HAVE AN OSCAR!?!?!?!?!?! HELLO ACCADEMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean if im talking equality i shouldnt be talking about objectifying a man should i… but he is Colin Farrell… cant blame them.

Kidman & Dunst are brilliant, they really are. There emotions properly convey the fear & lust for life & also the just trying to survive & decided whats good for them or for those they live with they are brilliant. Fanning is okay, but she just seems like shes trying a bit to much if you get me. The other kids are good at points being needy or scared when they need to be, but nothing more than that.

I dont know much about the US Civil war im afraid to say so cant say who was on the right side or what was going on with that. I mean i dont know much about my own country’s civil war, if im honest, that wasnt in my history GCSE. But it felt properly scary in that. I mean the fact the slaves had also gone fuck this & run off & just left these girls in this one house. It was a good thing this house basically provided for them too, with the garden & animals. So many wouldnt have had that, they can cope with an extra mouth too.

Were you awarded for handing over a prisoner of war? was that how it worked? a very weird system of scarfs & notes on houses to say you had people or which side you were on. Seems very odd. Im guessing it wasnt then but still.

When he falls down the stairs & amputate him thats horrific, but when he then starts the abuse oooooh my that is bloody brilliant. Its acting at its finest from everyone. Its just so intense & you sit there on the edge of your seat from the moment he falls & breaks it to the moment they start having sex, on the edge of your chair going the actual hell is this, what am i watching. Like i stopped typing up reviews while that was happening. It was so intense. I loved it.

Now i love mushrooms, but even i know that you can have too many & get ill. So the second they first find them at the start of the film i was like ahh someones gonna get poisoned by accident & then when its not & its pre-planned, ooooooh my. I though it was gonna be an accident but no they murder the bastard, while he is trying to apologise. I mean yes the threats were evil, but he could have run of with Dunst & been happy ever after, but nah if hes gonna be mean to them for chopping his leg off & playing with his emotions once, then he deserves to die….???

The costumes were all very nice, i dont like period costumes, but this was recent enough for it to be like ahhh okay thats nice & pretty.

What is it about men gardening in films… they always have to be so hot & hunky dont they. Does that happen in real life? no no no no… altho i did used to fancy a guy who was a pert time gardener… i wonder what happened to him… hmmmmm okay yea that is then a thing… my bad

Also did everyone in films in history learn to play an instrument? Ive noticed that a lot. I mean i would struggle in the past. I can play the EastEnders theme on a keyboard but thats about it. I wouldnt go well. Id be on a type writer doing stories wouldnt i…

When Nicole Kidman screams bring me the Anatomy book… i mean is it used that often that you know exactly where it is…?

Its a solid 95min film with enough twist & turns to make it intense & some good acting. Any longer & it probably would be a bit too intense, im not sure what adding more to it would do. I dont think it would benefit it. ITs well worth a watch even if historical or period drama isnt your thing. It really does put you on the edge of your seat for a large majority of the film & when its being samey its nice & calming knowing its probably going to fuck you over in 10min time.