Spoilers

I promised you peoples a spoiler review version of this film last year & thats what you are going to get.

going back to my Erin Brokovich review (depends in posting order for me) weve changed up our quiz nights & this week one of my friends is doing a quiz entirely based on this film. So its the perfect opportunity to re watch it & review it properly for you all. So here we go peoples how do i feel about it 8 months later…

PLAY JARJAR DINGDONG

Lets talk about JarJarDingDong… how that song is not up for an oscar i have no idea. It is the best song in film in 2020 (i do understand that the home town song is beautiful by the way) but it just would have been so fun for the oscars to have to sit there & play this song. Everyone at home would have been singing along too. IT jut makes me smile & makes me happy & i am more than happy to keep requesting & then screaming JARJARDINGDONG out loud forever & ever. Brilliant.

Right now thats done. Lets talk about the huge problem with the film, the time line. & it really really bugs me. So they are sitting in Iceland watching Abba win Eurovision, lets say the kids are 7 & 5 because they cant be any younger then that. Abba won here at the Brighton Dome in 1974. Epic day for my city (even tho it was a town then) & we were even more on the map. The film the jumps forward to the present day which okay lets give them some artistic license here & say its happening in 2018 okay thats a 43 year gap. That means that when the film is set the characters at there youngest possible ages are 50 & 48. That means come the end of the film lets say they had there kid straight away Rachel McAdams character had a baby at 49…. erm nope nope nope. I mean it can happen but im sitting here going no. Thats stupid. I understand the romance of Abba being iconic winning & bringing people together but then maybe have that as the parents meeting there spouses on that day & there kids sharing the love for it when Bucks Fizz in 81 or Johnny Logan in 87 both also iconic years. Makes more sense for the end bit when they have their kid.

Okay now my Eurovision nerd is going to come out okay because there are somethings in the film that dont happen in Eurovision that the film has going on. so sorry for my pettiness but here goes.
1) Graham Norton does not present the Eurovision semi finals. Its Scott Mills & usually Rylan that do this.
2) Graham or any other commentator dont actually talk through the songs when they are being performed on air.
3) The Semi final scoring does not happen like that where its like everyone else giving out there points.
4) The Semi final scoring also doesnt reset back to 0 after each country.
5) Great Britain (yep us) havent won Eurovision since 1997 (best day ever) so why the hell are we hosting & why did we decided to do so in Edinburgh?
6) There is an act that performs where they have more that 6 people on the stage, thats breaking Eurovision rules, maximum of 6, one year a flutist didnt take part because of it
7) he would have never been able to have rushed the stage at the end
8) there wouldnt be a long gap after there act with all the confetti going on after there performance its a 2min turn around before the next act is on.
9) if hed walked they would have been pulled from the final
10) if we had won we would have someone like Dermot & Emma present it, not just 2 random Europeans. I mean you went to the trouble of getting Norton, so get the right people to present as well
& i think thats all my Eurovision nerding out & explaining where the film gets it all a bit wrong in that respect. sorry if ive just ruined the magic for you… & i can hear you all saying but its just a film. Bullshit if your going to do a Eurovision film & have it released in a year where there wasnt a contest we need it to be right.

I understand why some people around the world didnt get this film. Mainly because you need to have watched at least 3 Eurovision’s to get the actual show & some contrys just dont even know what it is. So that is there loss im afraid.

I love the fact that Fire Saga are from Iceland & its all about how they want to win & most of their panel do, however its really interesting that they are from there when the people who should have won last years contest were in fact Iceland. I bloody love that song. I mean its not Aram MP3 with your not alone, but wow they are brilliant. So yea thats a very good nerdy point for you all.

I love the elves. Those murderous little elves. & that noone really believes in them until they kill the bad Iceland guy from the panel. Why he takes the knife out of the back of him & put it down i have no idea his finger prints are now on the weapon unless the elves take it back. The slamming of the door too perfectly times i laugh a lot at this.

The star of the film is Dan Stevens as the Russian Alexander. He steals the show & it is a much better film & more fun & just feels more Eurovision when he is actually in it. He just oozes what Eurovision shoudl be. He camps it up & is perfect & when he is on screen you cant tak your eyes off him. See what happens when you take him out of period costume people, hes a star. Embrace the real Dan Stevens.

I like the running joke that they probably arent brother & sister thats brilliant. Also does make it a little creepy at times but then its nice when they do get together at the end & then even weirded that there parents then get married too. Its a good joke the first 2 times but after that its then like nah weve seen this now.

I love all the random Eurovision artists that pop up, i mean the song-a-long is full of them so much so that when i first saw the film my dad was getting irritated by me calling out peoples names as they appeared. But the one i really like it the piano guy who is the Portugal winner from a couple of years ago. Complete understated & not made a fuss of much like he was in the contest, he was never meant to win but he did & hes just sitting there in the film on his piano being all sweet & nice. Its the perfect representation for him that he doesnt need the glamor.

When they are at the party before the Song-a-long & they are introducing all the other acts is brilliant. Especially when it comes to us, & hes like amazing voice best here but shes from the UK so 0 points (oh 11) it Nil Poi not 0 points film as a brit we are used to it now). But year everyone introduction does some up there countrys & Eurovision’s attitudes towards them about people voting for neighbours & friends.

i knew something mad was going to happen to get them to Eurovision but that boat exploding was stupid & crazy & i loved every second of it. I mean the Demi Lovato ghost constant coming back & still being on fire was a bit freaky & not needed a voice inside one of their heads to warn them would have been enough but i guess if youve paid for Lovato you have to use her.

Taking the micky out of the Americans is good. However there would still be traffic on Eurovision night. & for all Americans Europe does have a speed limit its 20 in citys 40 on duels & 70 on motorways.

There performance at Eurovision that they do which goes wrong is brilliant. You can just see it coming from a mile away but you sit there & go oh maybe they are going to get away with it & then its just horribly wrong & i laugh through all of it, & then cheer when they do actually get up at the end for the finally. Also a room full of Scots would have not sat there in silent as all this went down they would have laughed & screamed whey & then applauded straight away.

The jokes about Kevin Swain being so important to everything is amazing, there is always someone like that at Eurovision.

I like how at the end it puts up everyones flags from where they are from in the credits i love that.

I really enjoy this film. This will be a go to for im bored i need to put something on as back ground noise lets put the Eurovision film on. & in a year that was so gloomy & had little new content it was so nice to get this half way through to just make us smile & bring some joyful Eurovision to our lives.

Id like to end this review by raising a glass to song number 10, which is always when the late grate Sir Terry Wogan would always say if your still here with me its time to go get a drink now. So to Sir Terry we miss you & we thank you.