Spoilers

This is not a review this is a love letter one of the greatest films of all time & something that when ever I watch it I discover something new or something hilarious which I forgot.

Yes Happy 10th Birthday to the amazing Hot Fuzz, yes it’s fucking 10 years old.

The 2nd in the Cornetto trilogy is a buddy cop film, where sergeant angel is sent to Sanford as he is marking the met loom bad & it’s the safest place in the country. Turns out it’s not all the accidents are actually murders & just as he is about to get to the bottom of it, he makes there list for who’s going to die next. It’s all for the greater good the greater good & to win village of the year. Eventually Angle convinces his best friend Danny & the rest of the force to join forces & take on the village & the NWA & reclaim it as there own, culminating in the battle of Somerfield.

Now if that doesn’t want to make you watch this film let me try to convince you with all of this. This is going to be a long review so give us a go people, stick with me.

First of all I feel I should address this point first before I get onto anything else, I mean after all i do hand out an animal award for my annual awards in honour of the swan from Hot Fuzz. The fact that he thinks it’s a joke by a piss taker on the phone & then it ends up being Peter Ian Staker & he’s interviewing him about the swan at the castle. The swan does go fucking everywhere tho & puts up a chase. It’s involved in the summer field burglary the house exploding & then the grand finally. Hence why quite often my film quote of the day is just SWAAAANNNNN! & then they pick him up haha he’s such a small part to the story but I love that swan. Can’t believe he’s had more acting roles than Jack Whitehall, well maybe not now.

The other thing that deserves a full mention before my ramblings, is the battle of Somerfield. Im stating it one of the best fight & action scenes of all time (& that includes the one before it we will get to that). The fact that the guy with no idea comes up with the plan is the perfect start. Then Lurch the trolly boy who the Andys go ahaaaa at when he throws him out of the window. The line two blokes & a fuck load of cutlery is brilliant. Absolutely amazing as even if youve not seen this you know whats happening, kinda put the its just bolognaise into the shadows a bit. still a classy line. Then you get the fact knifes are randomly flying past people have a standard conversation, people getting killed by trollys when you could have run out of the way. A bit of girl on girl (naughty Dorris) & then the dont go being a twat now, as Nicholas has finally earned everyone’s trust. It is just brilliant good on the Somerfield chain for letting them do that. Yes i know they ended up getting brought out by the coop but oh man what a scene. Just watch the film for this reason.

Oh god this is going to be a long review. Ive only done two points so far & ive probably written more than you need in a dissertation. I think i may just do random ramblings & quotes now. It maybe the only way for you the reader to get through it. Or just watch the film instead.

Want to be a big cop in a small town? Fuck off up the model village!

Do you want us to go through the whole phone book & call up Aaron A Aaronson?

Well done to the Andys both epic lines but both come together in the final moments as Aaron Aaronson is in the model village. Yes yes yes brilliant. I just smile so much when that happens.

Nicholas Angle is Dannys hero & he wants to know if he has lived like all the people in his action films he loves firing guns while jumping through the air going argh!!!! so he starts to show him the films which when Timothy Daltons Simon Skinner ( love that man what a performance as the baddy) accuses him of watching films due to mad accusations, he goes erm he hasnt. This then makes it better that the films inspire Nicholas to return to fight crime & Danny gets to live out his dream & fire 2 guns while flying through the air screaming argh!!!! thats what makes this film perfect it really does.

Its all for the greater good, the greater good.

Why did they all have to dress as death the entire time. Whats all that about, also how come no one else in the village noticed they all disappeared up to the castle every time shit properly went down.

Thieving kids gypsy scum & crusty jugglers (crusty jugglers) Mum crys when ever she hears that line thats her fall apart in hysterics moment.

Whats your wine list? Well we got red or erm white! Ill have a pint of beer please.

The fact that the further he moves up north & into the sticks the worst his phone signal gets.

Its all for the greater good, the greater good.

Fascist! Hag!

Go back to Lone Done

Your a doctor deal with it! Yea mother fucker.

Hitting someone in the head with a peace lilly iv been growing one for near 3 years now its nearly big enough to do that now.

The evidence rooms code is 999 yes. thats brilliant. & the sea mine oh god no!

The kids in you pub whens it your birthday 22nd of february what year every year, the kid with the braces haha.

The greater good (SHUT IT!) Love that

Hes not judge judy & executioner.

Its also the small things like Cogan Freeman & Nighy are in charge of the met who turn up for 3 mins. Cate Blanchet is the ex girlfriend & Chris Martin is the Santa who stabs him in the hand.

The fact that the met tell Nicholas that hes making them all look a little bit shit is brilliant & that the team all want him to leave & are throwing a party as hes off even though he hasnt decided yet.

The Shakespeare Romeo & Juliet oh it was awful especially the love me love me bit at the end.

It was fitting that all the deaths in the film were for stupid reasons & not for anything worth while. They were far to simple to kill them for anything more. & that what keeps the film british. We all want to kill someone because of the way they laugh & if you dont your the person your friends want to kill for your laugh. Its true.

I’ve probably missed out some corkers here, but i think its time that you now go & watch Hot Fuzz people. Do it right now & then come back & tell me i was right. Every performace is just outstanding. My love letter is complete.