Spoilers

I tried not to, i really did but you cant deny the draw of an avenger can you, especially when Loki is smirking & being evil. I am not actually attracted to Loki until he opens his mouth & Toms voice comes out. So yea lets go back to the first one which everyone almost a decade ago was going to be so hard to pull off & it wouldnt work at all. Shows what we all knew doesnt it, as we now enter phase 4.

Watching it at the time it was ground-breaking & amazing & one of those oh wow films, but now knowing what they go on to make & what happens next & because of this one film, it doesnt hit as hard. Especially the big battle at the end. Okay yes most Marvel & super hero films do end with a CGI army & a sky beam taking out the sky & this was the first one to go for it, but it doesnt hit quite as hard as watching the fight in End Game or Infinity War. It just doesnt. Honest from Steve going Hulk Smash to when Scarlet decided to leap on the thing to take Loki out all of that 20min gap isnt good & it is made to fill time. If we had a more meaningful fight, it would be good, but not its just a bit samey & meh. Yes this walks so other films can run & Endgame can fly, but seriously i recon you could fast forward most of the fight scene at the end.

Loki is a bloody brilliant villain he really is. Im not just saying that because hes Tom, i promise. HE is the ultimate Anti villain. Hes the person you hate ot love & love to hate. Hes the best heal, so much so that when he turns face you go oh okay so whats in this for him thats out of character. His monologues are just Tom being Tom living his best life, its not quite Shakespeare but he delivers especially with Kneeling, ants & boots & co-operating with Romanoff. Its wonderful. Lets just have more & more Loki please, bring on the TV show.

Taking the eye & the smirk is the highlight tho. That really does something to me. Hes the most like Tom in that moment & i go all weak & giggly.

So Loki had 2 infinity stones & we had no idea at the time really, makes the start of infinity war more of a lie as he had them both.

We also meet the Gruffalos Hulk in this film & considering he had a big job to do & to fit in & replace someone else, it just fits & works & gets it. This is the moment that even with all that green i realised actually Ruffalo is a fucking epic actor. Hes more that just a side person, let make the guy a legend. Especially when he gives his suicidal speech. brilliant. Thats proper heartfelt acting in a film that didnt actually need that.

Poor Hawkeye, the uninteresting avenger who has all his issues solved by Natasha hitting him in the head. It was like they suddenly thought ah who else can we put in here. His character despite actually going on the biggest journey doesnt actually develop as much as it should.

The fight on the Shield ship is good, but theres so much going on from the inital argument to Coulsons death. It really is a hang on where are we going & okay yes i get that moments like that make people realise who they are & what there actually role is in life & in the team & its the push Fury needs but still. IT does jump about.

We also spend a long time re introducing everyone for the first 40minutes until they all get on the ship. I mean yes this might be your first MCU film, but surly youve seen bits of Ironman & captain america before you saw this other wise why did you decide to start at the end of phase one. especially when so many of them were like a team up film thats a bit much, & all our contracts are up soon. It went on for a bit.

Puny god…

So captain america never took the bet about what would shock him, but he still pays out to Fury… ha

I have an army, we have a hulk… ive got a jar of dirt… sorry this isnt a meme but you get me & i do like the call back at the end when hes like yea ill have the drink.

Thor didnt actually learn his lesson from his film when it comes to Avengers Assemble. Hes still walking about like a spoilt kid & a sulky teenager. Loki has escaped & living his best (even tho its evil)life & Thor is still a twat from his film. Youd have though since returning to Asguard hed have matured a bit more, especially when we get to the start of the dark world.

so when Tony asks about phase 2, was that a genuine question to the MCU? Also i love that he hid food through out the set of the ship, so when he offers food to anyone they all do go like say what blueberries & then have them.

So i read a theory about Tony & im with the people who wrote it about him. Hes Hydra. Thats why he didnt find it when Jarvis was hunting because Jarvis knew. Thats why he then suddenly decided to be the sacrifice in the films, as then no one would know his secret & hed get away with it. Thats why Natasha was assigned to him as Fury knew & thats why initially he didnt qualify as the Secretary was like nah not stark. hen you think about it its fits perfectly.

I know cap had been in the ice, but surely hed have learnt a few more things between his awakening in first avenger to avengers assemble. Okay yes being a techy isnt everyone but saying its run on electricity, he should have know a bit more about it othr than that. Also Fury ruined & devalued those baseball cards.

Ive been overly harsh on this film. Im sorry Avengers Assemble, but you are now a factor of something bigger than even you thought you would be when you were made. You had no idea that this would lead to the most successful film in all of cinema history. if i had written this review back in 2012 it would have had a hell of a lots less negative notes. I still bloody love you thou & you are a comfort film for me (at 2h20). Now i need to go be burdened by glorious purpose somewhere.