Having a Cinema card is good and all but when theres limited films actually coming out at all that hurst quite a bit, so im getting my trips in when i can. Dont worry though Autumn will be epic so will Winter, Bond, Black Widow, Soul, Free Guy… bring it on.

So independent cinema is saving the world right now which is very very good indeed i like that. Means when people ask you what you see you can go properly nerdy about it too. So today on a saturday afternoon i am going to see The Roads Not Taken which may very well be the death of me.

My cineworld card has now arrived which is very good. Im happy with that. Did anyone ask to see it today nope no one. Wonderful. Thanks for that.

How many people were in the cinema with me, guess people go on have a go… 4. One Group of 4 & me that was it. I mean i can now have a proper cry at this film with no judgement but thats not many at all.

Trailers we had St Maud… nah not for me, wonder woman… yes please & the shiney new bond trailer which is so beautiful. Bring on November.

& then the film started… oh thank god there werent many people in there i sobbed & sobbed & sobbed.

If youve been following my blog for a while you by now know that my Grandpa suffered with Dementia for many years & how it really affected us all & how when he passed it hurt even more because we never ever really got to say goodbye to him as my real Grandpa left us long ago. So watching this film that covers this subject & how it effects everyone is just so heartbreaking & just made me want to hug everyone when i walked into the house afterward. I may have lost my Grandpa to this, but i did get my Grandma back.

So to say i was an emotional wreck by the time the credits started was an understatement. Bardems performance in so many different ways is just so captivating. I know we have a long time & a lot of films to go before award season this year but he should get some recognition for what he portrays. Its simply emotional & painful. It was the correct length for you emotional deconstruction too. Any longer & i think id need counselling.

I understand the lucidity & The things that went on in his head which were or werent really which he got muddled up. The Mexico bit & that story very good, but the one in Greece was a step to far & when later on in the film you realise what happened in Greece you kinda go oh really. Just made it then feel less useful to the rest of it.

The love & blind panic off the loss & the suffering of those around him was brilliant too. It is what you really do go through & it hurt. There was one moment when something happened & i do think i just yelled no out loud (sorry to the other 4 people in the cinema my bad). I knew it was coming & it just hurt so much. Thank goodness for the kindness of the strangers in the film.

The sacrifice each member of the family gave up too for the film was just so pure & devastating. Theres a line where someone says can we please talk about dad like hes here. That hurt oh man that hurt, but its true they are there but they arent & thats the scary thing.

Theres not much else i can say really about a film involving dementia & mental illness without breaking down again. It really hurts & you will need a lot of tissues & emotional support at the end of this if you know someone whos been through this.

It is rather special though.