Spoilers

My parents have no internet so they have lent me Amazon Prime so they can come round & watch the football this week. So i can catch up on some stuff there that ive missed in recent years or this year which are with amazon originals or not in the cinema. & for some reason im really feeling Chris Evans films at the moment so im going for Snowpiercer, (the film not the tv sho which ive just realised is a thing) & im not going to binge the MCU yet.

Guess what another post apocalyptic world where the people with money & higher status think they are better than the rest of us & are upperty about it. Urgh, it thought this was just going to be about a run away train in the snow that he & Jamie Bell had to control but not, but to social status. They bloody love punishing us like that dont they films well at least they did in the mid teenies didnt they.

Ohh this is Bong Joon-Ho film…. that makes more sense now. This crawled so Parasite could fly off into the sunset. ( not to self tell Kerrie about this film).

The idea of getting form one end of the train to the other to try & see whos controlling it & why its all gone to pot (literally we will get to that later) is clever concept, it just was poorly planned & executed & not well done. I mean i know they knew the risks & they had planned it for almost a year but still, it wasnt the best of plans was it.

Im reviewing this as things come into my head as i type, so sorry if this leaps all over the place….

So near the end of the film, as they reach the last carriage & try to get into the final part, Chris gives this whole story about all the poor people at the end of the train & their suffering & the fact hat to start with they were possibly going to have to be cannibals & people started cutting off limbs (hence his scared arm where he couldnt do it) but he wanted to eat a baby which was Jamie Bells character. Now i know Jamie Bell looks young, but Jamie Bell is only 5 years younger in age in real life that Chris Evans. Even if that baby was meant to be 2 & its been 17 years hes meant to be 19… nah bollocks to that. Especially if Chris is meant to be 34 at the time having lived half his life on a train. Nah im all up for some poetic licences but Jamie Bell is so much older than 19 in this film, no matter how young they make him look or how reckless he behaves, i aint having it. Also dont eat fellow peoples peoples okay… not good not nice.

So its the year 2032 when this trains going around right ( or something like that its bloody close to that date) & they are all shocked that their protein bar they have been given is made of insects… erm hello. You can eat insects in real life here & now that are cooked properly, thats not a weird thing, they are full of protein. I mean im still going to have my roast beef tomorrow & not a hand full of caterpillars but you know you can eat them & people do. Why was that a shock.

Tilda Swintons character isnt very nice, shes the most upperty of them all, & shes only bloody middle management. urgh yea she deserved to die.

The fight with the weapons & the ninjas with night vision & the torches was amazing. It was so well choreographed & edited & done with passion & there really was dred that people important to the story really were going to die which they did. But it was the best scene in the film. Its about 15 mintues long from that approach moment, but i love it. It makes it grim & shows the life or death situation that they have. Poor John Hurt tho for that one point. I mean we later find out he was behind this & sent his “friends” off to die to keep the train going, but what would have happened if they fell at the first hurdle & then went nope we are retreating….

So the weird pot or drugs that they are after they dont want to smoke it can explode like gun powder, well that was a really quick omg turn around moment didnt see that coming, i mean clever idea but wouldnt work in the real world would it.

If the train stops we all die. Very morbid & very repetitive throughout the film.

I lost count of the number of times the word Wilford was said in this film (especially in the school scene) & i was really worried we werent going to see the mastermind behind this final train that was working. & then we did & then it was Ed Harris. Of course it was Ed fucking Harris. It was the teenies, there was no one else who could play that role. Mendelsohn wasnt at that point yet. But yea he was good. I mean cooking all that food for dinner was a bit much.

That school was freaky those kids were so brain washed & in a cult, but after they had been at school did they go back to the upper class or lower class of the train? That was never explained. That whole part of the film was a complete trip. I was watching that thinking how much have a drunk today. The answer was not enough.

So the bad Hench man that is trying to hunt them all down & taken them out after he takes some out is presumed dead in the sauna section of the train, however about 30mins later in the film as the final betrayal is being said, he wakes up. A) Cinema Sins was going through my head with all the dings & B) Nope no way fuck off not happening. He would have bleed out or would have shrivelled up due to the heat.

Every new year everyone gets an egg, well i guess its a tradition of some sorts & its when they get to a certain cave & then see those poor frozen people in the land, which commemorates this. Yea thats morbid. However as much as those frozen people died in the snow, they did get quite far away before the snow took them.

Losing an arm via frost bite is not the best way for it to go no way. I mean any way of losing any limb or function isnt good at al but frost bite as a punishment nope no no no. I aint down for that. I mean at least we knew it was gonna be grim from the start i guess.

I know these films show all the people in the upperty world living poshly, but all of these compartments were so decadent, it was madness. I mean the only one that really made scene was the nightclub. I got that. I mean i used to go clubbing in a church, so clubbing on a train completely understandable. Just whos providing the vodka. But an aquarium, nope. & that sushi bar, i mean fish are friends not food & i love that while they all get sushi they make her eat the protein bar. Thats brilliant. I love that poetic justice moment.

So after Wilfords long speech & everything on this train & the attempts to kill everyone & get through it & then the betrayal of John Hurt, Chris really really did consider taking over the running of the train to keep everyone a live…. i mean i guess you would consider it but he is like 4% away from saying yes, until that child revel that one of the kids hes been trying to find is keeping the engine going & he finally gets to sacrifice his arm to get him out.

I know he & the gate keeper did have to die to protect those kids once the bomb from all the drugs goes off, it was the correct move to do & showed that humanity even in dire situations is still ruled by love & protection of those you care for more than anything else, but it was sad that they didnt get to escape. & what about everyone else on the train as it exploded or derailed did they all die too, in all classes? & also you send like a 6 year old & 17 year old out in the snow on their own who just happen to see a polar bear & go ahh lives still ago lets go. Nah thats not happening is it. Those kids are gonna go touch that bear & be killed as soon as possible.

It was all very grey & dark to start with being in the poorer end of the train & then the decadence & colours you see as you went through the train & then the cleanness & chicness at the front, it really was like going from one world to another. Very well executed.

I did feel cold at times watching this as well. It was rainy windy here & just looking at that snow made me want to put on my marshmallow dressing gown & all my blankies & just cuddle down.

There wasnt too much gravitas to the acting but it was all about the drive to move forward & get through those doors before they could be stopped & everyone on that journey did well to make it seem like it was a dire need to do it. I was with them on their trek to the front of the train eagerly awaiting Wilford reveal.

Was Wilford all those kids at the schools dad? That was never explained, also did the kids survive the school shoot out? If so where did they go.

As far as this being about class & their being lots of upperty people in this film, it was well done & had a good tone to it & it did connect with the direness of the situation. I enjoyed it & im glad ive seen this, but as much as Chris looked rough & ready I’ll have him in a wool knitted sweater any day above that. I mean i wouldnt say no to the roughness.

There are worst last arch of humanity apocalyptic class films out there than this one & this one has enough twists , deaths & pay offs that when your done you do sit there & go you know what that was a solid film. I enjoyed that. Now wheres a hot drink to warm me up…