Spoilers

Time for another disney classic. No this isnt the one with Tom Hanks or the new netflix animated version either, were going back to the original trippy disney movie & seeing how freaky it really was & why on earth this was ever green lit by disney to make into a kids sweet animated movie. Because even before i start this i know this is one hell of a trip.

Oh fuck disney you made that movie??? & i thought the Hunchback of Notre Dame was fucked up. This is a different level of fucked up & it was not enjoyable.

So i get the whole not feeling complete without a family & failing in that purpose. I understand that, but for a kids film that is still deep & dark. Thats a lot for your head to process & Thats the opening.

All those clocks would so get on my tits going off no wonder Jiminy Cricket got angry at them. Jiminy is such a con man & not actually that helpful is he. HEs most useful at the start going ahhh ive got a story to tell you & singing when you wish upon a star… Other than that, he doesnt really stop him at all. Pinocchio is just like nah screw that. Even though hes being told nope its not worth it what you doing mate.

IT takes a good 30min of a relatively short run time film for him to turn into an alive puppet & then have the whole oooh im real & celebrate before he goes off out in the rest of the film for his adventures. & the adventures are so weirdly paced as well. Some bits are far to slow for no reason & we dont focus on some for one reason but not the other. Its just a bit weird that they thought that worked back in the 1940s.

I mean teaching kids to not lie… yes film well done, a brilliant way to scare the hell out of, by having his nose grow. That works keep that bit.

But child exploitation is used a lot in this film, from making him perform i got no strings & putting him in a cage & then sending him to the island & they all drink & smoke & turn into donkeys. Thats bloody horrible. Even as a little kid watching this film i was like no no no nope. Its just weird how did it even happen, why did it happen? what was that all about & why did it just stop half way through for Pinocchio…? huh huh? Anyone? I know its writers licence to do that,(as a writer i get that) but no movie, dont just do that. Its weird. & its so sad when they all call for help & it doesnt come.

Why did he end up in a whale trying to find him? thats so random & weird. However i feel for the whale. Id be angry if someone set a fire inside me too. No no nope not happening. Again back to the weird pacing that we go from something very mundane to holy crap everyone’s gonna die. & also he just accepts his puppet son is part donkey now? Also hes made of wood, why is he either not rotting from the water or then setting fire from lighting it… Yes i get its a film i do but bloody hell. Its weird.

The score it nice & no ones going to argue that when you wish upon a star isnt a stunning song because it fucking is. But it needs a better film to show all of that off.

It is beautifully animated for the time though. They spent a long time on it back in the day to make that look so magical.

This film is just a bad trip, its such a weird trip. I know why i havent watched this since i was little. Its just weird & is probably why ive put off all the remakes this year. I mean i will get to them eventually but damn this will take a while to get over. Its just so weird & not for me, be it younger me or adult now me.