Spoilers

Please don’t judge me, although I have judged myself. It was more of a curiosity if I’m honest… And of course to stare at Jamie Dornan, which is actually kinda the point really.

Like the millions before me I read the books all of them (not the new one Grey tho I’m not that sad). It was the only thing anyone was talking about it the summer of 2012 so I took them on holiday & read them in Ibiza, there was actually a point where me & my two friends were all reading a different one of the trilogy, when a rep came to speak to us about a party & he said omfg I thought there was only one book I’m doomed.

The fact that I’m talking about my holiday in 2012 gives you an idea about how I found the books & then the film. I felt I had to stick with the books hoping the writing would get better & that it may improve, hmmm not really. & if I’m honest whoever tried to rewrite the script for the film didn’t do a good job either. It seemed like half of the films all the sighing that was going was about the badly scripted dialogue going, do I really have to say this bit next.

The only person I believed in their role was Christians assistant, Taylor. That was it everyone else looked like they were trying either too hard or just didn’t really want to be there (don’t get me started on Rita Oras 4seconds of fame) .

For a film & book supposedly aimed at women, there is more female nudity than men’s (and that includes the number of times he takes his shirt off, which is completely fine by the way) I’m sure in the book it was almost even but in the film it’s like 80% to 20%. 

When the best bit of the film is Ellis Gouldings Love Me Like You Do,(which is epic FYI & I don’t even like her voice) you know there are issues.

See I feel too judgemental witting this so I’m going to stop. I didn’t enjoy it but am happy iv now watched it to see if was worth the hype. It wasn’t.

Next time keep your beard on Jamie, don’t shave. But feel free to do it shirtless.