Spoilers

Yoho yoho a pirates life for me. Step forward what should have been the best stand alone film ever made, until they did sequels (youtube Mark Kermodes review of number 3) an original story based on a theme park ride… Yea I know what chances has that got of making any money.

Jack Sparrow…Captain Jack Sparrow Johnny Depp provides his second best performance ever (after scissors hands) & type casts himself as someone a bit cookie & quirky for the rest of his life. But by God what a performance what, truly genius & madness to quote him. You shouldn’t like pirates but with sparrow you are destined to fall in love with him. His charm & wit just makes him even more appealing.

However Mr Orlando Bloom removes that blonde wig & chops half his hair off & his Will Turner glows as the perfect double act. He is the man you want to get out of this alive the most. Due to circumstances out of his control he ends up as the anti pirate hero whoms actions make sure everyone gets what they deserve. Honest & true he is the man you root for.

That being said I do tend to agree with sparrow, who was always rooting for Commodore Norrington, Jack Davenport. That voice… Oh my God. That man! He should always win, what Elizabeth sees in turner that she doesnt see in him i will never understand. I know he has to keep to the law, but none of this was ever really his fault was it. Hes made to be bad but hes not. Like i said still rooting for him.

Keira Knightlys Elizabeth Swan is good. But she does spend most of the time complaining about not getting her way, then she gets it herself & then complains again or faints. She should do a bit more arse kicking and less damsel in distress, which does happen in later films. She will eventually grow a back bone.

Geoffrey Rush Captain Barbosa is amazing. All he wants is some Apples, which for a pirate isnt much. He also does show up all of Jacks flaws but never truly does learn from his mistakes or falling from pride. We all knew he was going to die didnt we lets be honest.

The curse reveal that they black pearl is now a ship of the condemned & the dead is amazing, especially that monkey, scares the shit out of me every time. However a couple of things, when they first steel Elizabeth to take to the boat, a couple of them are in the prison with Jack and there bones appear, as the moon is out, so how did she not see it when they were taking her back to the boat. Also when Wills gold is first returned Barbosa takes the medal out of the crate, so would he have to donate blood again as well as Will for the curse to be lifted?

I didnt see Jack turning into a dead pirate when i first watched it. I did scream no all those years ago as i thought he was doomed, so that was a brilliant twist.

Just because Jack is a Pirate, doesnt mean people should stop believe him. Almost everything he says is gibberish & in riddles but a good 85% of it is true. Except of course his grand escape originally. But if im honest i would do the same as him, sit on a beach for 3 days drinking rum. True is the Caribbean.

Had corsets not made the Caribbean then that long ago? Also if fashion had to be imported where did the pirates get that dress from? especially if they hadnt had a ladies company for nearly a decade after curse.

Tortuga… when do we go??? like seriously when, is it near Tahiti… Its a magical place. 

What in 8 years made Mr Gibbs go from being a honest sailor in the navey to a pirate? like seriously was he so pissed off with Norrington that it drove him to drink? Also its nice to see Zoe Saldana play someone thats not an alien either for once, even if Jack did steal her boat years ago.

I do own the rest of the films and probably will see number 5 when it comes out soon, but i think they should have just a stand alone film. If it was it would be much wider regarded as an amazing film. I still love it lots, and i am a man of my word… even if i am a woman.

Not bad for a film based on a theme park ride. Who am i kidding its fucking fantastic.