0 5 mins 6 yrs

Spoilers ish dunno really

You wait years to watch a film from your childhood & then you watch it twice in three days. As after I watched it the first times when we had our film night a few days later all my friends said I should bring it round.

One of possibly the worst acted badly plot holed cameo appearance films of all time. But you know what… GIRL POWER! Fuck it

Join the spice girls for a sing along on their way to the opening night of their world tour at the albert hall, in 5 days time.

So first issue has to be the girls acting it’s so bad & not in time & over played. Yes this film was for us as kids so much so that I went to see it on boxing day all those years ago, but parents must have just been sitting there going why the hell did we spend our money on this, we could be scaring our kids by showing them terminator 2 instead.

Then there’s the outfits. No wonder my mum wouldn’t let me dress up as a spice girl I’d feel slutty going out wearing that now. That’s why I always related to sporty most at the time as she always wore football kit & trackys I could wear that.

Some of the innuendo is so bad that Scott Mills would draw the line for innuendo bingo.

I do want a spice bus though, how cool would that be. Just driving round London in that with meatloaf as your driver, who actually says the line I love those girls & il do anything for them, but I won’t do that. I shit you not that’s what he says.

Celeb cameos are just all over the place. Jonathan Ross, Elton John, Elvis Costello, Hugh Laurie, Stephen Fry, Michael Barrymore & Dominic West (before he was famous tho see photoshoot scene) & that even before the main cast.

Apart from going to the reunion tour & seeing David Beckham there, the best bit of them getting back together was the fact that at the press conference was held by Richard e Grant who played there manager in the film. He does put on an amazing performance actually. The deffining nervous break down on stage when they all walk out on him actually made my friend laugh so much that she spat her wine across the room. Also his whole I’m going to hang myself speech where it’s all over before having a full 360 & turning it all around.

Roger Moore as the record label owner who has all those stupid animals stupid sentences which do make sense & martinis shaken not steered, it’s far too much but does work. Maybe that’s what Simon Cowell wants to be.

Richard O’Brien as the crazy photographer who climbs into toilets & swims the Thames to get the scoop. All my friends when he turned up all went isn’t he dead. So we paused the DVD to check he hadn’t died in the last hour & then talk about the Crystal maze for 15mins.

One of the best line of the film is from Barry Davies edititor Kevin McMaxford 
Or if they find a cure for dejavu, hmm not me. Or if they find a cure for dejavu, hmm not me
Classic

Victoria Beckham does have the best line of the film. I’m sick & tired of people thinking all I do is talk about clothes all the time. Let’s fast forward about 16 years Vicky what’s happening right now.

The fashion shoot is so clever. It must be boring to do the same poses every time so it must have been fun to do that.

The aliens can fuck off except for there really cheep green coats. That’s all I’m saying about that.

The fact that friendship never ends is lush there flashback to the early days all the way up to being there for their friends birth. It truly is heart warming, so contrived, but sweet.

The race across London is brilliant. Victoria driving in those shoes tho omg crazy.

This film has some huge flaws, but I don’t care. Viva Forever Spice World, time to spice up your life peoples.

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