Spoilers

I never intended to watch another watchathon straight after Bond but a friends of mine said do Indi before the 5th one comes out in 10 days time. So here i am watching all of the 4 Indi films before we get to number 5 at the cinema. & yes i know you will get this review a long time after ive seen Indi 5 but, you know. Lets go see what our second favourite explorer gets up to (Lara being the best obviously).
Also 2025 me now talking i am so so sorry, posting all of bond has mean this is so late. So much so im tempted to watch Indi 5 again now. Cinema Club last year also took up so much of my typing time. But here we are finally.

I am properly watching these back to back to back to back so we are going to do this post like we did the mission impossible films & twilight. All in one place. So this is a long one, good luck peoples.

Before we get going, can i just say the Harrison Ford is so good in all of these, even the ones which are weaker than the others. He is a delight & really does act his arse off. His set pieces, his charm & charisma. It all just works, so much so that one of my friends was like ooooh hes got his top off & i said to her girl hes old enough to be your great granddad, she didnt mind that. I mean he was the younger Indi at the time, however still to this day younger people when they first see him being all smooth & cool still fall for his charms.


Raiders of the Lost Arch

Lets start at the very beginning… a very god place to start. & what a start to an action movie & franchise this is. The whole tomb chase is iconic. So iconic. When you re-watch it now all these years later your last like damn. Full of drama, lots of pain, an epic score. Its been referenced in so many films since. lots of close misses, betrayal & death so early on in a film for this period. Its just wonderful. I still smile when its done. (also this is where you can find the star wars easter eggs hehe).

Now so many people (thanks to big bang theory) say that indi isnt actually needed to the plot at all. The outcome would have been the same. I get that i really do, but it doesnt hurt to tell the story of the drama. Also would they have found Marion without him. She properly did kick arse. Is she the reason all millennial women drink as we saw her do that & went damn we want ot be as bad arse as that when we can drink.

I do like that bar fight. Its very cleverly done, especially as the film later on picks up on the scared hand again, very good.

Im not sure why they pretend to kill Marion off then bring her back 15mins later, thats almost a quicker turn around then loki. It wasnt like he need inspiration to go digging was it, but no. Also if he did why then show her there & then leave her back there to get the digging going.

All these peoples downfall in these films is there want to own stuff & check it before it goes to its owner (the evil man who we need to remember so world war 3 doesnt happen any time soon). But it leads to all their deaths yet again. Also not very nice deaths. I remember seeing that face melt as a very little kid & going ewwwwwwwwww not nice. Like Die Hard i could cope with but this, no. Maybe this is where my hate for body horror comes from.

I love how they had that epic fight scene already to go with the swords man & then Indi just shoots him. I like that a lot. I also do know the story about it that they practiced it for days & then Harrison wasnt well on the day & every time they filmed it he had to go be sick, so in the end he just shot him.

That pit full of snaked… nah no thanks. Not for me. I love that Cobra though & they eye contact everyone has to make with it.

Why did they not notice all night that there were people digging? Seriously, why did no one go & ask? Bloody idiots.

The car chase is alright, but its kind of spoilt by the plane one before it where it all goes kaboom. I get they were still after the arch, but that plane one is so good. Why have something that cool & then have the exact same scene afterwards but with cars & not a plane seconds later. Always feels a little bit weird.

I love the maps this film uses to show all the different places, & i love the films still use it in all of them.

That boat scene where she whacks him with the mirror i love that. However this is such a piece of its time. The woman said no & yes she had history with him, but it basically was wearing her down until she wont say no anymore & as a woman of the modern world, i dont like that. Yes it proves the spark is still alive but you know.

Do villains just have submarines on standby? Espcially when they are fighting a war &how did they get he arch in it? & how did indi swim there so quickly? & then how did they know they needed to go to a cult place for the ceremony? If they knew they needed to go there, then they should have known not to go there & then when the death all happens how do they know they can open your eyes? Yea the whole end of act 3 for the finale is just like hang on whats the deal? Its laughable now, but if i was seeing that in the cinema when it first came out if have had so many questions about it like i did just then.

Ohhh Top Top people are dealing with the arch are they? Bollocks.

This is a lot of fun. Harrison is on his top leading man game here, he proves hes got what it takes, yes the film might not actually need Indi, but its still a really cool film, with lots of suspense.


The Temple of Doom

Now this one gets on my nerves for a lot of reasons, its not the worst oh no no no, but this was clearly made to very quickly cash in.

Ke Huy Quan bless him was adorable in this. Such a cute kid & so clever & most of the reason this work. His innocence’s & willing to please is perfect. Every scene hes in is a joy & im glad they gave him to indi as a kids side kick. Even after all that trauma to see them hug is so sweet. It wasnt an acting hug that always feels so genuine.

An assassination attempt at the start is very clever, also its a complete different shift in tone from the start of the first one. That Indi is living a more opulent life, & that he goes off because hes sent off to now, not just for his own gain. But it is carnage watching that all go down. & then the plane escape is all the evidence you need for a bigger budget for a bigger sequel.

The village scenes i get, we had to have something to be a McGuffin didnt we & a stone & the loss of their kids was very good motivation. Indi is respectful but she isnt. Shes much more a damsel in distress than Marion & in act 1 indi does give her an out at one point but no. Shes also the last person to catch onto anything at all. I get the dumb blonde thing but still.

It is so funny that they both spend a good portion of the film going nope no sex & then when they both do they almost get killed by assassins. A crime of passion. Also is it bad to get your leg over in a palace run by a child prince? With a cult in your basement?

Got to have a bobby trap its an indi film.

So no one ever bothered to question the cult in the basement, with lava. No one. I mean compared to midsommar this is rather tame, but i can imagine this being shown in the cinema in the 80s for a family film which is what indi is, this was full on. The torture, the rituals, the burning alive. Not nice & then to turn Indi to that side, is full on. But also a simple little burn gets you out of it.

All those kids do escape & i get it but how did they get across the river? The bridge was gone. Also the fact that you never really ever see anyone fall to their death & they basically filmed a alligator pond else where & put some costume bits in it. I get we dont want people in with them, but still. They clearly showed the best bits to get that & edited it about.

Boo to voodoo (unless its in the sims obviously) but the fight on the coal machine is the best.

Water water…. ahhh water run. I love that, its very funny gets me every time.

So they didnt need the stone. Cos yes they brought the stone back but maybe the extra water & change of seasons meant things revived. I get its a placebo & they get their kids back too (also thats a lot of kids for a tiny village, even without birth control) but its a bit much.

Yea this one is a little bit dated, but its still fun at points. Its a family film & is a little tamer now with time, but for the time if you took your kids to see this at the cinema it might have been a trauma to them with the torture.

The Last Crusade

Unpopular opinion or maybe not, this is my favourite Indi film. Maybe its the fact that its covers so many tropes of the original, but also that everyone gets involved in the adventure no one is left behind in this film at all, most of the people youve met along the way get a bit to shine in.

Adding Sean as his dad was so good. I loved it. I also love that his dad is referenced before he goes to save him about 40 mins in & then bang hes there. They also have amazing chemistry in this these two. Clearly two actors who admire each other & loved the roles they did. I smile each time they bicker i laugh a lot at the quips, it just works & whoever decided to do this was so brilliant.

I love we see some Indi origin, how he gets the hat, how he learns the whip & how he is to start with okay with Snakes & then so not. River does a really good job too, he would have been a star instead of his brother wouldnt he? Bless him. But i love how it then cuts from young Indi to our Indi redeeming himself all those year later.

That church, how did they ever even back then get away with it. Seriously. It is rather beautiful that libary. ITs rather splendid.

She shrieks a lot. Elsa maybe a fem fatal, but shes to whiney & all over the place. Yes i get that shes attractive, but its jsut like oh come on. I guess this was an era of bond girls doing that too, but yea she is my least favourite part of the film. Although it is funny that both Indi & his dad have had sex with her. Awkward as well but still. Also im guessing that when this came out there werent to many love interest women who were villains in action films, so she was a pioneer in that way, with betraying them but still, she is weak.

Marcus really could get lost in his own museum. Hes brilliant but still. But he is actually helpful.

The brotherhood are not in the film enough for you to care about their sacrifices later to protect the grail, but they are involved in some of the best chases, going through venice & then that epic one on route to the grail. That one is crazy, no offence to the rest of the movie, but the best bit is that 15 minute chase to get to the grail & to save Marcus. I love it, theres so many tense moments when you think Indi is done for & hes just not. Even watching it multiple times, i mean its not Cruise in MI Fallout but its close. He just keeps having things go his way… just dont mention Camels, get horses.

When that castle burns down & the craziness that goes on with that, it makes me laugh so much. Every time. Its the fact they also find a secret room. All the deception. & then the chase afterwards through the forest on the bike & side car, Return of the Jedi would like their speeder race back please.

Then they have to go to bloody berlin, its like the most awkward thing in the world, imagine if that man had torn up the diary, but instead its signed, awkward beyond belief.

I love how they both call out the other for not bothering about their relationship in the past, but then dont have anything to say. It then really does show later on that they do care for each other with both have near death experiences. Its beautiful. Especially when hes called him junior all film but at the point of temptation & loss he calls him Indiana, thats so sweet, makes my heart swell. It also proves that those you care about really are more important than any treasure you could ever find.

The tests to get to the grail, brilliant, so many heads on that floor & i will now always go Jehova starts with an I… IT is still shocking when he shoots his dad, im always like no.

I love that the knight thought he stood a chance, but as they took the cup did that knight then die as it all collapsed.

Im so glad the villain got it, all the villains in these films work for others who then are bigger viallains that we never really see. They then take the glory & go oooh we can have this first & then it costs them so much. His death is rather horrific, aging that quickly & turning to dust with only that pin remaining. Rather fitting that its blowing away. Also once they get the grail the number of bad guys that then just back out & go nope we aint in when they still clearly out number them, could have easily taken them & the grail & got out of there.

The Dog was called Indiana!!! HAHA

Yea this is my favourite for sure. Its just comfort. its a good story, its funny, heart warming, filled with action &brilliant Jokes & Harrison & Sean are the double act cinema didnt know it needed.


The Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls

We got to do this… Sorry

For all the hype, all the budget, all the return of indi… this is the worst of them all. Im sorry it is. I get what it wanted to do but it just failed & just went off on one.

I get the addition of Cate, she is actually the best villain in the entire thing. She hunted gold & knowledge & was willing to put so many people in harms way & ruin lives to get it. She is by far the best part of the film. But the rest of it urgh.

Note to self as we approach the end of the world lead lined fridges can protect you from nuclear war. Happy days… what do you mean fridges are no longer like that. The plan to head to the tunnel is still my plan. Im convinced its a safe haven. Also why as im typing that right now is there a plane flying extremely low over my flat…*5mins later… its gone now. I did just have to very quickly check bbc news.

John Hurt is very good at being unhinged in this, but it never really explains how his staring told him all of that but indi was much more logical about it. ITs very odd &then the second they get it back hes back to normal & its not mentioned again.

Ray Winston, legend, but mis places. How many double crossing times does he need in a film. Look its Ray Winston, hes going to betray someone, thats why you cast him, no other reason. HE is a greedy git but he does the right thing.

I get the whole soviets being the enemy now, & i also get the aliens too. Both very much obsessed over in the late 50s early 60s especially by americans. But they all spend so long looking at the crystal skull going what is this. Even then they could have worked it out. Also then why throw in knights, did they just so that as its Indi & we need a bit more history to make it real.

Shia is okay, he was clearly meant to take out & then they chickened out. He was fun &the reveal half way through that he was his son was good. Im glad that it waited a while to show that. Means that first bike chase was very clever & more personal when you know it.

So we had a tribute to Marcus & his dad in this but Sean didnt die for at least another decade after this film was made, im guessing it was just to show how much time had moved forward since the last film. Jim Broadbent is always a good addition.

The best chase & action scene is the whole jungle escape. The monkeys & Vine swinging isnt the best CGI but they tried. But i do love the ants, thats cool. The waterfalls were a bit full on but we do get the iconic moment of indi using the skull to get his hat back, i liked that.

GRAB THE ROPE! (its a snake)

The opening in the warehouse is okay, but only for about 3minutes, its indis quips that make it bearable at times, showing his age. But should a man that old be able to take out that many bad guys in one go.

The end where the aliens go crazy is jsut throwing mone yat it for the sake of it. I get that they wanted knowledge & not treasure, but the whole merging thing & then it all just crumbling & almost all of them getting out alive was jsut a bit to weird. I dont enjoy it, just feels completely off. Weve been building up to it & then once again Indi has no real say in the baddies take out. A theme in them all. Was this harrisons choice? To never be seen as actually killing anyone in these films. They all meet their own maker on their own choosing.

This was the first meh legacy sequel. Id it still fun at points, but the quicker we can forget weve seen this one the better. The script wasnt that great. This really was a people love indi lets make this to keep those kids who now have kids showing their kids the film & so on & so forth.


So thats all but the fifth Indi film done. There are highs & lows for sure, but you cant go wrong with Harrison Ford being an action hero. The third is the best for sure, but you will have a lot of fun rewatching these. Yes ive moaned but that is my job to be honest about movies & my opinions of them. They are worth rewatching… speaking of which number 5 is on disney plus now right….