Hello There…

Spoilers….

General Kenobi…

happy revenge of the 5th 2023.
Yesterday was star wars day but i was out but in my star wars in order list, that actually works because revenge of the sith can be watched on the 5th & this is going to be fun (completely worth missing star wars day to watch Brighton win hehe) so lets go & talk about the prequels because lets be honest us millennials fucking love them all.

This is my third favourite star wars film. Yea you can call me out all you want on that, but its brilliant. It just does such a good job of tying it all up & making sure it leads into the original trilogy so well. Not even Natalie Portman can fuck this up.

The opening space fight is insane. There is so much going on. Your wondering how long the war has been going on. Your wondering what happened to Anakin, its all very full on & they really did show off then with their CGI. Yes its probably over used but still, for the time it was still new & being used a lot to show off art skills. Its fabulous.

Count Dooku bless him didnt stand much of a chance did he, bless Christopher Lee. When he stands there & goes ive been looking forward to this, i bet Lee actually was, he was a lot of the reason Ani turned to the dark side for sure. He owns the fight too. I know in clones he had a cgi yoda to deal with but here, he got to really show off & almost take out Obi Wan. But its his death at the hands of Ani. Palpatine becomes a meme going DO IT. But we also get the whole its not the Jedi way. But he shows his loyalty to those he loves cos he saves Obi Wan.

R2D2 is a sassy bitch for all of this scene, i mean hes usually sassy but still in this hes like AAAWAAHAHAHA all the time.

Poor General Grievous. He needed a bloody inhaler didnt he. This was star wars showing off making that as the main bad guy for most of the film. But he gets the line that makes him a legend among millennials. Also what a collection of light sabres.

The Trade federation, they wanted the naboo, they wanted power, they wanted the war & yet when the time comes in this film they are sent from one planet to another to then just be murdered after all that hard work they put it for it all. A McGuffin which was a bit shit.

Portman is still crap. Im sorry she is. I mean i get shes nervous about being caught & telling him about the baby, but theres a speech they have about being so in love. Hayden is acting his arse off while she brushes her hair & trys to look all nice & pretty but shes just giving nothing back. Shes the wooden one. Im sorry she is. Also no one in the at least 5 months shed be showing even asked her who the father was. Not one person. No one from the senate, no one from naboo, no jedi. Seems crazy. I know there was a war going on but still.
She also gets an epic like of “So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause”. Its a really important moment & she just says it too monotone. Her eyes dont glaze over, its just lacking. Shes the weak link in these films, not Jar Jar. Even when she pleads, then gives birth & then dies its like really thats all your giving love. It irritates me a lot how bad she is.

Im with Ani, that is a piss take to not make him a master. Hes done nothing but help the jedi & at war effort & they just go take a seat. No wonder he betrayed them. He bloody was the chosen one & in 3 decisions, they sealed their own fate. I get Powerful people not wanting to lose their power, but all it took in this film is a couple of over the top egos to mean alot of people suffer & die. Its not good.

Darth Plagueis… hes got a lot to answer for. Although i do love the fact that the film that is technically a space opera, has an opera scene in it love it. & why didnt ani report that to the jedi at that time that he had head sith stuff, why wait to know later on. Also he isnt a Jedi is Palpatine, & yet suddenly he reveals he knows all the ways of the force.

I love the silence of Ani & Padme both at either ends of the city being so still & pondering their future fate. Its stunning, the tiny bitty score, the pain Hayden projects. Its rather beautiful & you know his feelings are going to be what costs him everting.

Can we all just appreciate that before Windu comes to fuck shit up hes openly in front of a window looking at the fucking Death Star plans. Iconic. But not as Iconic as sending lightning through Samuel L Jackson, what a way to go. Through that window & then bye bye.

The whole ceremony of him taking him on as his master is scary & chilling. Rise Lord Vader Rise.

EXECUTE ORDER 66!

AHHHHHHHHHHH
EVERYONE DIES!
Well almost Obi Wan & Yoda & Chewie live to fight another day (although we dont know its Chewie until the last second) The Younglings bless them, i mean one of them kicks off & Someone (we now know) saves Grogu (cheers JarJars voice) But i was a little bit sad that we didnt see much more of the whole other planets the clones were at to then turn on people across the galaxy we see maybe 5 other jedis off world die & get betrayed, but we didnt know why they were there with their clones & what they were fighting. Always felt that was a little bit lacking. I know its not their story its Anis & Obis but still, its a shame.

That Kiss… 15 year old me found that extremely hot. 33 year old me also found that very hot. Hayden went for it.

ObiWan practically begging Yoda not to kill Ani is very sweet it makes the betrayal even harder, but it has to happen. Also that CCTV was very much ahhh its found the best bits.

Yoda & Palpatine’s battle was fun. The senate goes fucking everywhere. But Yoda in all of his prequel fights, technically loses all of them. Hes ment to be the legend, & yet he cant beat Dooku or Palpatine. Whats he doing. Bloody womp rat. He need to go to dagoba & have a long hard think about what he has done.

& then it happens. The third best moment in all of star wars. I mean it is a scene. From him crying on Mustafa to Obi getting back on Padme to ship. Its stunning.
The heart break.
Dont make me destroy you.
Dealing in absolutes.
The inside fight.
The crumbling.
The lava
The double force use.
The collapse
The fights
The duel
The Score
The Pain
The Sorrow
The Visuals
& then for all the little bits of speech along the fight.
& then the high ground… do or do not, there is no try… Swipe
That still hurts, to this day to watch him do that & lose everything & then slowly catch fire & if it wasnt for Dooku taking his arm in the previous film he would have died. Its so striking & you just sit there as your jaw drops going ooooh fuck. Its just unmissable & i know its what we all wanted to see but even now all these years on its just stunning. I cant get over it. It is what makes star wars star wars.

& then the next moment. The first breaths of Vader, in the suit. Iconic. Cinema! Just you tell me thats not fucking cool I bloody dare you.
Its also as Padme gives birth is Vader Rebirth, so poetic.

No one thought to check she was having Twins & then she dies of a broken heart… someone tell the trade federation that would have worked almost a decade before. 3 films of protecting & saving the senator & then oooh my heart is broken, here are my kids (by the way did she want a look (LUKE) & to lay her (Leia) next to her) Also no way would that have been kept that secret. They would have known someone would have tried to have saved the babies before this. Its madness they get away with it.

I always love the score of star wars, its one of my favourite films about these films. It always get the tone so spot on. It gives you chills.

& i love how Luke ends up below Twin suns on Tatooine ready to start off his saga in about 15 years time (well now about 8 but originally) its so sweet.

Yea this still owns it all these years later. The prequels get a bad wrap, but us millennials are here to tell all of you haters that they were our introduction into this universe. & this is the best out of all of them & i wont have anyone tell me anything else at all.

Come to the Dark Side my loves… This is where the fun begins…