Spoilers

When its raining so much you cant hear your TV… yes welcome to British summer 2022. June 18 & i cant decide what to watch… hmm hmm hmm oh its been a while i can. Lets put on the Golden Circle & sing Country Roads really loud so its over the top of the thunder & lightning thats going on out at sea right now. & no this isnt just so i can look at him… or him… (maybe…)

I am going to try & do this without Pedro Pascal bias… wish me luck (actually for these films it is fine for other reasons).

I love the Kingsman films, oh my god. Why cant all spoof action film be like this. They are just such insanely good fun & you sit there & you laugh & you dont take it seriously. I mean there are points where it does get serious. But these films know what they are. A popcorn film rated 15 which isnt afraid to make you go oh for fuck sake one minute & then 20 seconds later having you laugh so hard that it hurts.

COUNTRY ROADS
TAKE ME HOME
TO THE PLACE
I BELONG…
Iconic.
Mark Strong steals the entire film with his death. Its so selfless as well & he does it to save others & prove a point. I did wonder why about 10mins earlier a random lawyer appeared when i first watched this film & when you re watch the film again & again & again, you realise Country Roads is constantly mentioned or hinted at through out. Which makes his death on his own terms, so fucking good. I love it. I really do & what a way to die. God bless you Merlin. I mean the third film will not be the same without Mark Strong swearing every other line or then giving us exposition or nerdy stuff. Good luck filling those shoes film.

I mean im even willing to forgive how they bring Colin Firth back for this film. Its batshit & crazy, but damn it works & is a clever way to do it. I mean we cant do that with Mark Strong next time, hes scattered across a mine filed. But its a very clever way of bringing him back. I mean all the kingsman science is just so random but it would so work. The self driving taxi & an umbrella gun are still the highlights though.

Dont hate me Pedro girls, but this is one of my least favourite Pedro looks. Especially in that Ski suit. Im sorry im sorry. I mean Jack Daniels i still would not say no to, unlike that girl at glasto. I mean damn it girl. Did you have to be that mean to him. See when i first watched this i was like yes go for Eggsy girl, us brits do it best. But now i know who agent whisky is im like the fuck… you turned down one of the sexiest men on the planet. I love his arch though. Its clear theres something else going on with him. & if im honest, his reason at the end is justifiable, but did you really need to turn him into mince meat? not nice boooooo. Poor Jack.

Also this film was sold to us at the time as a Channing Tatum joining movie film, which dont get me wrong when hes in it damn, but by act 2 hes put on ice due to the drugs, but yea they miss sold it. I remember being a bit gutted that we got some random cowboy instead, but now… erm… yea. But when he turns up in that suit at the end, oh fuck a duck. HE had better be in the third film in that suit that is all i am saying.

Elton John! Thats it thats the Paragraph!

Seriously just ahhhhhhhhh at Elton, especially with the innuendo, the constant live shows, the dogs being Benny & Jet & not attacking him & then just yelling Poppy Fuck off & what have you done you bitch i love it. So good. I mean he helps finance the films so why not.

The fingering it glasto, i mean i get it, but its still not nice to watch it in all that detail. Its just like really. Especially after hes had to speak to his girlfriend & say its for the sake of the world. Thats all just a little bit uncomfortable. But im glad he stops half way through it too.

So her computer password of being VivaLosVegan is funny.
1) its a fun password
2) of course it would be Vegan
3) i have a client who has a client whos company is called that, i asked that clients client if they had watched the film & they said no. They picked the name before the film came out about a year before. They have now since watched it.

The message about drugs is pretty good. I mean i do see where the president is coming from, but its not those peoples fault. They have a very good point in the film. Like wise with Whisky & his departed wife. But it is a good thing of telling people, look you need to be careful in what you take & put in your system. & i love how everyone sees themselves as the hero in this for stopping the carious things too. That stadiums filled with all those people, that is fucking scary & not nice. But would you take drugs if it was that obvious that you did. & i love that this is how Poppy dies, they over dose her, proving a point.

Act 3 has a few to many action sequences im afraid to say. I get we needed to see whisky’s turn i really do, but then make the first two fight scenes as one. I mean dont get me wrong a Kingsman fight scene is a bloody beautiful dance & fight to watch, always so clever & graphic & edited well & always has an amazing song or score for each move & you always do feel like you are fighting against the clock, but to have 3 of that much intensity in act 3 is a lot. It really is. & for them to all be easily won too.

When i first watched this in the cinema, i did not expect so many important people to be killed off straight away, especially Roxy. I was certain she would be on this adventure with him. & im still a bit shocked to this day that they killed so many of Kingsman off. It was like no no no. But drinking yourself silly yea that was worth it for the doomsday protocol. Also were the Americans really that stupid to not check theres out straight away or realise what was going on.

All the set pieces are good they really are, i know i said we have a few to many in act 3, but from the opening in the taxi, to the snow, to the initial fight at stateman & then the big finale. They are all so well done thats why i dont mind there being so many of them. Everyone single one of them remind me why i bloody love these film. They nail all of them. The action the fights everything.

Manners Maketh Man… Damn Whisky Damn… but i love the Lancelot fails first time round in that bar.

The eye patch, & glasses, that is very cool. But all the devices to try & bring him back to now with the trauma… oh god. I mean i get it but it takes Mr Pickles… hehe… but the butterfly’s awwwwwwwwww

Its so well written. It makes it current & fresh & clever but still a knock off. The villains are mean & evil. Any plot whole in them especially picking lose ends up from the first one are covered. It just works & is so clever, to just stand as its own franchise but also take the piss out of other more serious bit s of this spy genre. It just works.

Ive not even mentioned Jeff Bridges… i mean he is basically just there to send people out on missions isnt he but damn hes good at that to sit there & snarl. I love it.

It just is batshit crazy & so works & i love these films. Whenever i put them on i always forget exactly how good they really are & when they are over im like damn it. But yea this girl love these movies, im not afraid to say that & it still makes me smile to this day. Its well worth your time peoples, it will just leave you feeling yeaaaaaaahhhhhh that was bloody good fun. That hit the spot…