Spoilers

Half 8 on a saturday, no plans, its drizzling & i have time to watch something long & really concentrate on it. So ive been looking at what ive never seen & worked out whats the longest, so im goign for Australia. Bit of Baz, bit of Jackman, hopefully a lot of aussie accents & smile. I am wondering how this film is going to be so long, but lets see shall we.

Ooooooh it was long it was sooooooooooooooooooo long. I mean i know films are often all about the build & adding to the drama & what goes on & how it develops the tension, but this was 30mins of action 20mins of drama 20mins of acting & the rest an advert for outback Australia. Seriously ive seen adverts advertising Australia that look better than this, but it was really trying to make you see & want to go to the real Australia. Nah i didnt sign up for this no no no. I mean some of the shoots & the cinematography of it was lush, but it should have been more of a story that just looking over a random waterfall we are never going to get near.

Jackman was the only thing holding the film together. HE is acting his arse off & no one is giving him anything back to bounce off. Not Kidman, not Wenham who was the villain, not the kid (that is asking a lot) but hes giving it his all, & no one else is. I feel so sorry for him & then he gets all hunky & you forget. However this is meant to be a serious film so doesnt fit. Also he didnt have a name he was just killed The Drover… what the hell. & its not like people only know him for like one day, this film happens over a couple of years. Urgh movie Urgh.

Ben randomly appears & is the most consistent character in this film, however he only turns up to flirt with Kidman once & then try & organise & lead stuff, thats about it. Youve got the worlds best villain (okay this is 2008 hes not proved it yet) & youve got him being police because he happens to be an aussie? Bad Baz, Bad.

So the one British person in the film who plays a lady (shes a lady of the manor thats why ive said that) is Australian Nicole Kidman. Really? I mean i know your going all out on the Australian style of this film & the casting but really. & after being fish out of water she adapts bloody quickly doesnt she. Shes also very upperty.

We are lead to care about this kid & his authentic ways & how he lives & the real Australian & how everything effects his life. & then they go so much to go get him back & then when it gets to the end after all the fall outs & the journey & surviving all those atrocities for both the kid & his carers they just go off you go, go live with your own people. I mean it is the right choice, but after all of that to then just be like weve taught you western life & made you a better person now fuck off at the age of 10. urgh

Some of the attitudes are so backwards in this film, they really really are. I mean that people did think like that back then & you know the world was going into a war or at war, but still.

I didnt actually learn as much about cattle farming as i thought i would, considering so much of the film i dedicated to getting them to the boat to ship them out. It was a lot more horse riding & mild peril for a little bit of drama & then oh they got there. I felt like i had wasted my time with that.

& then comes the over the top drama of the bombing. Oh god. Did Baz want to be Michael Bay for 20minutes & cause havoc? Thats what it felt like. Okay yes some of it was brilliant, but it was still suddenly just like the hell. Its one hell of a gearshift change, & it is the best bit of the film, but its just suddenly goes from an advert for Australia & a break up to a world war 2 film. Not handled the best way Baz.

The escape from the island was tense, i did feel for them all during that. IT was bloody scary, although it was too dark & there were point where i had to turn my tv brightness up to see what was happening there.

This is nowhere near Baz’s best work. It wanted to be too many things at the same time, a war film, a romance, a film about the economy & an advert for Australian tourism & the only one that worked was the war, but that was just too randomly put in there. Shame, had the makings to be something special, but it just falters.