Spoilers

Well i had to, sorry i did. Taika is here in the UK at the London Film Festival talking Jojo Rabbit & im currently dying of a migraine, so Taika being a vampire is going to cheer me up no end. Lets do this my lovelies

Your favourite bit Synopsis time.

A documentary crew are granted access to a vampire house in New Zealand before the annual big party, to see what happens in vampires lives & to prove they actually do have a soul, despite being dead. The four vampire in the flat are Viago whos 379, Vladislav who is 862, Deacon who is 183 & Petyr who is 8000 years old. They argue over all thing most people do, like whos doing the dishes, where to go out in town, & what their hobbies are. We learn early on the Deacon is a rebel who used to be a nazi vampire, Vladislav has an archnemists called the beast & Viago came to the country for love, but due to a technical error it took him so long to get there, that she had met someone else & got married already.
Jackie who is Deacons familiar (slave) is tasked with finding victims for the guys, with the promise that one day Deacon will turn her into a vampire. One night she brings two former friends to the house & leaves them. Nick is chased through the house by the three vampires & eventually escapes only to be taken by Petyr. Petyr changes Nick into a vampire after draining his blood from him. This effects the groups dynamics, but Nick & his best mortal friend Stu, help the Vampires with modern technology, including setting up Viago on Skype so he can contact his old familiar & introducing them to selfies so they can see themselves. In return they dont eat Stu (which also includes Petyr agreeing on this) & teach Nick to fly. They also have an encounter with some werewolves, who live in town.
Nick & Deacon fall out & have a fight after Nick spends most of a night out saying to everyone he meets hes a vampire & the guy from twilight. Deacon then tells Jackie that he cant turn her into a vampire anymore as Nicks taken her place. The following morning a sunlight accident happens when someone breaks into the vampires house & it kills Petyr, despite the vampires attempt to save him. Turn out the person who broke in was a vampire hunter, who Nick had talked to the night before. This leads to another fight & the police arriving to see whats going on. Viago who isnt good at hypnosis, manages to convince the police everything is normal. Nick is then banned from the vampire house, but Stu can visit when he wants as a friend, before suffering the procession of shame.
We then approach the grand undeadly ball, where it is revealed that the guest of honor is the beast, Vladislavs nemesis. Vladislav decides not to go to the ball, but Deacon & Viago do (after convincing Viago not to go as blade the vampire hunter). When they arrive at the ball, Jackie is now a vampire as Nick turned her into one & Nick & Stu are all okay. The Beast turns out to be Vladislavs ex girlfriend, who when she meets Stu realises that he is Human & commands the other vampires to join her to feast on him. Vladislav then arrives & says no & tries to protect Stu & the documentary crew. Stu ends up killing the beasts boyfriend & the vampires escape. However they then meet the werewolves on transformation night & the attack everyone & kill one camera man & Stu. The vampires become depressed & try to help Nick get through losing his best friend. It is then revealed that Stu survived the attack & has been turned into a werewolf, who are then accepted into the vampire house as equals. Vladislav & the beast get back together, Deacon takes up more responsibilities in the & knitting, Nick is allowed back into the vampire family, & the werewolves agree to be more cooperative. Meanwhile now he has had the internet, Viago has found the woman he fell in love with over 80 years ago, who is now an old lady. He charms her & turns her into a vampire, so they can live happily ever after together. The documentary ends with Deacon hypnotising the audience trying to make us forget the documentary we have just seen.

Writing & Reading that why the hell would anyone want to watch that its soooooooo mad. Thats Taika for you tho.

Here was my orignial sofa viewer review of the film https://popcornforone.co.uk/sofa-viewer/sofa-viewer-plane-addition-what-we-do-in-the-shadows/ but now were getting into more detail peoples

Trying to explain why this is so funny to people is really hard. It really shouldnt be i mean i think all you need to show to people is Viago getting out of his coffin in the first 3mins of the film & waking everyone else up to get them hooked & into fits of giggles. It really is one of lifes joys.

I was having a downer the other day & mama popcorn said what will cheer you up & i said Viago hitting the main artery by accident & she went what. So i showed her the clip on your tube & she started laughing going that is the weirdest & funniest thing ive seen in a while. It really is. The fact that she thinks hes seducing her, while hes laying out all the towles & then he looks so guilty about killing her too. & then when its all over & the blood has gone everywhere, hes just like well i think she had fun & A good time, thats brilliant.

I love that you dont meet the beast until the end. They are constantly referenced & then when it just turns out ot be an ex girl friend is just like oh yea thats clever thats very clever & then they kinda get back together making the whole last couple of months of the documentary a little pointless.

The line about having so many bloody dishes is brilliant because there are so many dishes & they are all bloody. Thats comic genius at its best.

When ever we now have a full moon i shout at it that i am a werewolf now a swearwolf & then howl. I think Rhys would want me to do that. It one of the best joke in the film. Especially the stick throwing bit. He takes of a glove to slap them. & then the transformation bit near the end oh wow. IT goes full on horror at that point with just bodys & deaths everywhere, but thats the point. & then the friendship at the end is nice too that its gone the whole way round & That Stu brought everyone together.

Going To the ball as blade or whoopie goldberg from sister act is brilliant. Why not? Theres nothing against it.

All the costumes of them all from over the decades yes that must of been so much fun to do. & Soda stream blood to drink yes.

The ball is good especially the bit in the mirror where the only two people dancing are Stu & the zombies as everyone else has no reflection. I love that, so much work must have gone into that one shoot. Its like with the Ghost Cup & Pac Man bits, how much effort for something not properly appreciated by the masses.

Petyr death is brilliant, from the moment you hear the screams to the procession of shame is some of the funniest things i have ever seen on film. First of all they set him on fire. Then its the revel that Nick outed himself as a vampire to a vampire hunter, after the steak bit, then the fight & then the police. The police is brilliant, especially when he hypnotises them & then goes hes not very good at it & then they just carry on like everything is normal. That is just amazing. I full on cry when they mention that christians turning up to the house is worse than the police & Then not to have any indoor barbecues.

Then we get to Nicks trial which leads to his banishment but Stu can come back. Yep vampire is banned but mortal friend yea they can come in. Also the list for what the crimes are & the order is just all over the place & a shambles. & then the procession of shame. I love it. Seriously. If you don’t smile at that what is wrong with you.

I love that Nick & the other guests are all hypnotised but because you are watching it through the camera you arent so you just see everything normally. That is so clever that he sees everything but you dont. His failed escape too is brilliant & then when hes got by Petyr everyone elses disappointment that its not them.

Stu & Nick teaching them about the modern world is amazing. It really is. Especially with the internet & what they want to find. Which ends up as Dark bidding on the internet & looking up virgins. Oh man its so funny. Vladislavs selfies are cool.

Highlight of the film is Deacons erotic hypnotic dance for his friends. It really is, which is why ive left this til last on my type up. Seriously i dare you to watch it & not even snigger. I now laugh when Nicks being chased around the house because i know Deacons dance is next. IT is one of the funniest things ever.

Oh im going to stop typing & put this on again. Seriously if you have 90minutes please put on this film. Its the best mockumentry ever & you will just finish watching it with the biggest smile on your face wondering if you have ever laughed that much before.

Thanks lads, im now off to go turn myself into a ghost cup & use my new favourite Gif of Deacon & Viago in despair.