So im just randomly sitting at home one evening & my dad txts me & says “im interested in seeing Napoleon… are you gonna go?” Of course i am… so here we are in screen 1 of the cinema on the thursday night watching it. I even offered him my favourite seat in the cinema to sit in but he said no, i was shocked too, but very happy i could have L13.

It was almost sold out & it was alots of Millennials which i did expect, but a lot of Gen Z too. A few people my dads age but i was shocked how young the audience was. I mean well done peoples but yea is wasnt expecting that.

I almost predicted the trailers correctly, Ferrari, One Life, Aquaman…but the one i missed was ghostbusters, im ashamed of myself too my bad peoples. Mainly because id missed it just in general any how.

& then the film started… No one makes a historical battle film quite like Ridley Scott, do they. He owns it.

Some of the battles, especially the opening one & the one in the ice were incredible. Obviously so was waterloo but we all know what went down there. They were spectacular & graphic & full on & i loved them. However did we need that long arse march to russia to then not actually really have a war. I mean i know that happened & it all went down in ashes but it was still like we spent a while doing that to then be like & no pay off, just deaths & coldness & depression. No wonder they were pissed at him.

Phoenix was good, random at point but when isnt one of his performances not a little bit odd. I’ve never seen a normal performance from that man. I think the day i see it hell will freeze over. Especially with the mumbling & sex noises at points that was weird. But Kirby ahhhhhhhh phenomenal. Fast becoming one of my favourite actresses. Shes just owning it & every time they were both on screen it was a force to be reckoned with.

That being said Rupert Everette turning up as the Duke of Wellington for all of 20minutes was like ahhhhhhhhhh & he bloody stole the show & put him in his place. I did not know i needed that in my life turns out i did.

The best death of the film belonged to that horse in the opening battle of the film damn it was grim but it was amazing. I mean im pretty sure Ridley didnt blow up a horse but dam it was fucking phenomenal & set the tone for the rest of the film.

Some of it was filmed locally at Petworth house, which is only a few miles away, which is like ahhhhhh. No wonder its christmas ticket prices suddenly increased.

Any film that starts off with a beheading is always going to be crazy.

The ice battle is the best of the film, there was trails of blood seeping into that lake & the deaths were incredible & the struggle along with the score really got it going. Edge of the seat stuff. But all that could go through my head as i watched it was “let the sky fall… apple crumble” because it was shot the same way. Sorry i know i shouldnt but it did that.

This was a long film & yet at points it felt rushed. Like i get we dont need to see waterloo, but it just felt like they went ahh we best edit in act 3 now please. Lets get on with it. I know we need to prioritise the action scenes at point & then the drama of the french revolutions & his life too but it felt a little disjointed at times.

Lots of people have moaned about some of the inaccuracies of it & how oh this happed in March not June kind of thing. I do get that, but if here to be told a story. Unless its living memory when its got to be spot on because people remember it entirely, i am willing to give this the benefit of the doubt. We did a have bit to much politics at one point & i was like we get it we know this was volatile just get on with it please.

It delivered on its wars & battles & the two leads were phenomenal, but there were a few random things that i felt a bit off putting. This does give me very positive vibes for Gladiator 2 next year… for lots of reasons.