Let the chaos ensue… This cant be worse than Morbius can it… surely not… i mean i know im not Dakotas biggest fan but it cant be that crap right. So here we go, lets go see this & hope its passable & it isnt just angry meant slating a female super hero film.

Cinema was about half full. IT had been out for a week at this point, but it was mainly millennials, no one that much younger & not many people who were older either.

Trailers, Dune 2, Godzilla & Kong, Ghostbusters & orgin which looks odd.

& then the film started… & if i keep my word i originally said when i started writing film reviews about only being nice about films this would be where this review ends, but im not the same person i was in 2015…ITS WAS COMPLETE FUCKING CRAP!

The highlight of the movie was seeing the 00s Freddie Ljumberg Calvin Kline underwear advert on a billboard. If you know that advert then you are blessed. If you dont google it… yea i know damn… that was the highlight of the movie it really was.

I have often sat here & gone Dakota is not a good actress, I really have but this was one step to far. At least in the 50 shades films she looks like shes enjoying kissing Jamie at points. But this was so wooden it hurt my brain.

They genuinely used Sydney Sweeney for soft porn in this making here a teenage girl in a short skirt who is a damsel… I mean she did look so hot but thats not the point. The people who would be into that wouldnt just go & see this film for her looking like that. It was a waste of her acting talent to give her such a small meh role. Just no. NO NO NO MOVIE!

That villain Sim was it? i dunno. But he was crap. He was all like oooh im going to take the greatest tech ever & then kill 3 teenagers instead of trying to make them change. What a idiot also, yes he was cursed but he could have easily worked it out too. It was just like the fuck.

The groundhog day elements were not used enough to make them cool & interesting it was just like okay reboot it again & she always seemed so confused by them even when it was right & in the right place. Urgh it just didnt work.

How many spiderman nods did we need? It was getting boring. We knew he was going to be uncle ben. We knew that the reference was with power was important but it was said by a character we didnt give a shit about or actually remember either. It felt lame & lazy & a waste of time. We get it sony your trying to make your own world but your failing at it.

How she unlocked her powers were never explained in that first crash why hadnt she had a moment before? also if she then unlocked her powers why then could she not go back & get out of the car? Urgh. Also when she fully gets them we never see enough of them used or shown. Also its never explained how the girls later on also get their powers. Idiots all of them. Write a better story urgh.

What was with the cat & pigeon?

There wasnt even enough 00s stuff to make it nostalgic for millennials or retro for gen z or alpha.

The super hero stuff didnt happen at all until act 3 & then it was still crap. Also she never wear the suit or says the line about her mum.

I recon Paddington could take down all those people in Peru including the spider people. Also its never then explained how she gets back to america from Peru as an infant at all. What the fuck. Yea i could have easily written something better than this for sure..

Well at least there wasnt a sky beam… that was promising…

& no one dared question the taxi getting stolen…

Sorry this is a rant of a review & i have delayed writing it so i could be calm when i did, but nah its just pissed me off again. This film is so Bad that its beyond tragic & there is no hope for it.

I hope Kraven works out later in the year & We get a good final venom too, because this… this film… is one of the worst films ive ever seen in my life & thats me being positive about it.