Its the most wonderful time of the year… Christmas? Or award Season? Or an excuse to go to the pub? all three are very valid right now. But for the sake of this review its Christmas & lets see what Last Christmas has to offer.

But before we do that im going to tell you what happened when i got to my cinema. My Odeon to get to the majority of the screens you have to walk upstairs & behind the stairs is a massive blank wall where they hang there huge film poster. I only ever look at this wall if i am not in a rush on the way out of the cinema to see what they have on there. However today as i started to climb the staircase something told me when you get to the next set turn look at the poster, something i have never ever done in my entire life. So i did & look what fucking greated me…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

TAIKA HEAD IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its got to be a sign surely to god. Also its now 2 days earlier… guess my pestering paid off. EXCITINGMENT! Now how do i a get that down & b get it home. Also the poster at no point says visionist. HMMMMMMMM

Trailers… 1917, Charlie’s Angels, 21 Bridges, Frozen & the JOJO RABBIT one with the special Taika introduction……….. because today couldn’t be any more cool or epic. He said Odeon in the most mad way possible & did the whole “& stroker of curtains” thing. I hadnt seen the special trailer before & i was genuinely freaking out that Taika was in the middle of my cinema screen screaming at me to buy tickets which i cant, yet…. Basically pre film things could only have gone better if Tom Hiddleston had come to sit next to me to watch the film peoples.

Screen one i would say was a third full probably about 100 people in there which for a thursday where there are no offers is pretty good. Mainly people my age too. The couple behind me did talk through the first 15 minutes of the film that did my head in.

& then the film started… Oh i so wish this film was more than what it was. I had high hopes for it to be like the next Love Actually & Christmas Classic. Its not people im so sorry to say that.

Okay i do look into films & hunt for clues an awful lot when i watch them, however i dont think you need to be that smart to work out exactly whats going on from the begining. I worked it out quiet early on in the film what was happening & then when the big reveal happen, i was kinda left there sitting & going oh anything else is that it. & then it started to wrap the film up & you just thought oh what, nothing more. I wanted more from it than just that. Sorry that makes me sound really film snobby but it does.

Best bit was “Santa” & the man she fancied in the shop if im honest & their love for each other & weird christma stuff i quite liked that. I laughed at their relationship throughout. That was good.

The little Cameos where sweet & im glad we had the one at the end. Issue was with that one is that it was on the person for far too long. We get the point we know who they are & of course they are in this film we dont need to pan on them for this long, move along film.

I wanted there to be more George Michael & Wham music that we actually got. Apart from come obvious bits it just felt like oh how can we sell this film to people to watch oh we will tell them its got George Michael music in it. It just felt coincidental that it was George related.

Clarke is good, so is Golding. There is some chemistry which makes it believable & a romance that you do want to root for. However if you work it out like i did its then harder to believe. If you dont work it out, then i imagine its one hell of a shock & heartbreak when you find out, as you’ve invested in it & Then you go oh man really.

Why does it always snow in london at christmas in films?!?!??!!?!? IT FUCKING DOESNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s not just this film its all films. Just stop it please hollywood arghhhhhhh!

The message about acceptance & volunteering & making amends was good. I enjoyed that, but surely we should do that all the time & not just at christmas. I know that is the case we all do feel guilty at christmas, but lets try & spread the love a little more all year round shall we.

I really wanted to like this film. It had all the ingredients to be a modern christmas classic & bring me christmas spirit & cheer & make me feel emotional. & i didnt. & im really upset at myself & The film for not putting me in that place.

It also failed in its balancing act of trying to be 3 films at once & failing to do anyone convincingly. Sorry this didnt warm my heart & fill me which christmas cheer to sing out loud for all to hear.