Time to watch a film on that hit/wish list i had at the start of the year. Borderlands made the list as Cate looked so cool & i wanted to see if she owned it along side a Jack Black robot. I mean whats not to love. I mean i didnt know this was a video game film, so lets see what we get.

Before i got in my car to see this the tomato meter said it had gone up… to 3% from 0%… like what!!!! I kept going though. & for the thursday night start (as there are 3 films out this week) I was like hmm promising a half full cinema is good. Mainly millennials & gen Z no one older than 45 at the cinema.

Trailers, Trap(which im seeing tomorrow) Wicked, The Crow, Joker & Venom. You suddenly realise we are running out of action movies this year.

& then the film started… Turns out the tomato meter was correct.

2005 called… its wants its film back. I mean even Netflix wouldnt own up to doing some of the bits in this & they couldnt stick an ending until 2021 at all.

Cate was good, but even she couldnt save it. & she tried trust me she tried until the start of act 3 & then she gave up which is when the film also became very generic & cliché. Even she despite her acting you could see had lost hope that this was going to be any good.

Jack Black was good as the talking Robot, couple of funnier lines but it needed a higher age rating for him to say more stuff. The rest of the leads we didnt get to fully know. I know you cant do everyones full back story in a film but the muscle guy they were with other than being in prison what was his deal. The girl was a McGuffin (so many McGuffins in this film that Ryan Reynolds would roll his eyes) & Kevin Hart delivered the lines, but did it make me laugh no. & then why bring in Jamie Lee Curtis’ character. She was wondering around like she didnt know why she was there at all.

We also had the crapist most bland villain in the world. Like whos called Atlas, seriously. & why couldnt he bloody work it out. When we got to the show down & the twists along the way none of the moves or what happened were surprising or you though ooooh go on blow them up or kill them.

There was a CGI dragon at one point chasing something, it was so bad. Like the 90 maybe even the 80s want it back & ive been rewatching 90s nostalgia recently. It was so so bad. Like i knocked a star off my review it was that bad.

The set pieces were good, the fights, the chases (the final show down was the weakest & the actual end moment was far to short) , but for a video game thats violent, i wanted it to be more gruesome. It was almost like they wanted to keep this as low a rating as possible for this so families could see this. Lads if your aiming it at the kids & under 12s then they are playing the game as retro now. It also if it was a video game felt like it was on easy mode. I needed more kaboom for an action film. & this was advertised as an action film, unlike the last of us which is a traumatic emotional thriller not action.

Did we need the flash back? No. But if they had been more helpful would they have been a good addition? Yes.

I had worked a few things out really early on & i know it might be just my film nerd brain but i think a couple werent even hiding in plain sight it was like ITS ME…HI!

A millennial soundtrack could even make it decent & that includes muse being played.

Every time the script you thought was going to go somewhere or do something it then got lazy & interrupted to move on to the next part. Like why did they all have those face marks, who was that woman in the bar, why did someone switch, how does cloning work, how did she get those bombs… every time we were about to get an answer we just moved on to the next thing & it pissed me off.

Lets not talk about this films act 3 ever please…

I was generous when i wrote my letterboxd & mini review for this film i really was. Im now sitting here a couple of weeks later remembering this film & going that was poor lazy & just awkward for all involved. It should have been a hit but instead, it was kind of shit. Sometime even being a good actor like Cate, cant save your film.