i have never knowingly been to the cinema on Christmas eve before but here i am, on Christmas ever at 4pm to watch Aquaman 2. Im more hyped to watch die hard tonight than i am this if im honest, being Christmas Eve, but im here so lets do this.

Turns out theres a few other people here before Christmas too. Id say mainly familys or millennials like me who want to get one more film in before Santa drops his gifts off. Ive got my coffee & i am ready to go.

Trailers, The Beekeeper (never heard of it but i am now so in), Madam Webb(probably yes), Dune (yes) & The fall guy(yes) not a bad set of box office belters.

& then the film started… Oh it was Meh im sorry but it was.

Now i was not a huge fan of the first Aquaman. I will happily admit that, but you know what your getting & you know sometimes film franchises dont get going for a while, hell look at fast & furious or Bourne. Okay neither had the budget of these back in the day but still ended up all coming good & being iconic (although lets not talk about fast x) so i wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt. IT could be this is the perfect second album… nope it just wasnt.

I know i exaggerate on here but me buying my coffee before i walked into my screening had more drama & suspense than this film. They had ran out of lids for their Grande coffee cups at Starbucks so they put it in a venti then topped up the milk, gave me free crème & a gingerbread man. I mean mini victory, happy days. but yea that had more drama & suspense than this film which is saying a lot. A multi million dollar movie as a apart of a franchise shouldnt just be meh. It should be thought through a little. There was only one bit where i was like oh interesting but it was a thrown away plot point which was like oooh okay then were not revisiting that then. Yea i could write that better for sure. A 7 year olf could work out the plot from the first 15mins im sure.

Why did we have a random exposition dump half way though which wasnt deserved or needed & then half of it you could kind of work out for yourself too. It wasnt like a shock that oooh this bad guys got this so this is this & it was just a history lesson that didnt bloody matter at all. & then when the villain did become, it was like oooh okay now is he going to kick arse because the guy who has been the main villain for the majority of this film has just been so so average & then it was just like nope no thank you. Neither villain was worthy of my hate or time.

Jason Momoa was good. Im not denying that. He was fun & he kicked arse quite a bit. He is the only reason you should watch this film for his cockiness & being a crap leader of Atlantis (except at the end when he goes hehe & walks off dont think that was in character, think that was just him).

So was this film an advert for Guinness? Ive seen less Guinness’s in s Guinness advert than i did this film. It was madness.

Where was Willem? Seriously? I mean making a decent film is the answer to that im sure of it, but it lacked him. & it kind of forgot about Kidman. But the way it dealt was Amber was very very clever. Clearly in the original version of this film she would have had a much bigger part in this than she did. Interesting thats how they dealt with it. The rest of the ensemble cast just played through the motions im afraid to say. A script by numbers though doesnt give people much to play with at all.

No sky beam was nice cheers DC, but a CGI hoard & someone from thrones was very early teenies wasnt it.

There was a lack of stakes in this. Knowing James Gunn is now in charge, it felt like okay so were doing this but is it going to actually help anything in the end? Nope. James might keep him but i wouldnt hold my breath.

Some of the locations looked like they had just borrowed even the CGI from other movies, a lots of copy & pasting at points.

I am sure there are people out there who completely adore this & will say it was a triumph & was so clever & cool, but it just missed too many marks. But for me it felt to generic & going through the motions for a super hero film. yes i moaned about AntMan earlier this year but at least it tried & failed where this literally went well im Aquaman… & … yeah i hoped for more & it did even get up to the level of the first one which is saying a lot considering that was bang average.