a 3 day weekend for me woohoo. Lots of stuff going on but in the middle of all of it a trip to the cinema to see Crimes of the Future. I know the internet has been talking about how special this film is for a while. Ive also done a lot of horror recently, so this should fit right it & be my jam. Im looking forward to it.

So the 6:10 showing. There is me, a group of 3 blokes, two odd random ones who are sitting right at the front & a foreign couple, who have at the row behind me & talked throughout the first 15 mins of the film, not helpful.

Trailers… Oppenheim (as standard now, im going to be shocked when this isnt the first film trailer now) Dont Worry Darling (yes love the drama) Smile (prob no) Halloween (no) & the weird one with the nun whos possessed (oh no). I mean i get going to see a horror film means you can expect these trailers, but im missing the George Clooney & Black Adam stuff. Please id like more of that.

& then the film started… & for the first time in my life watching a film i was like say whattttttttttttt?

So i love me a complicated film, that doesnt make sense or that you need multiple views to watch & love. I mean Inception is my favourite film of all time. I love interstellar & Tenet & One hour Photo. I love over the tope exposition & telling me stuff i dont need now but maybe will do in 2h time. & yet there was a point in this film where i actually wanted to shout at the projectionist can we go back 10mins please, im lost. I never ever thought that would happen to me but it did. & it wasnt like it was fast paced or that odd, suddenly certain things happened or motives changed & i was just like the hell is going on.

I get that the film is about evolution & art & perspectives on it & how its different, & that this is a work of art more than a film, but it didnt need to make me feel that uncomfortable at points. I did shit for the sake of it, for just being an art piece. I actually hid when someone was having their mouth stitched together (it made me feel a little bit sick) thats not my kind of cinema im sorry.

The plot was so flimsy. I mean it started off being so serious about a death & what it was about but we didnt actually care about that for ages until almost half way though act 2 did that become as relevant again & then it was just used for the art & we never really got an answer for it. It was poorly written.

I needed more exposition as to why the human body had evolved to be like this & why certain things were deemed good & some werent. It was just lacking on those fronts, so much so that i didnt care for any of the characters in it at all. The idea of not having any pain is interesting but branch into that further peoples. Also too many side tangents which probably helped with me getting lost as to where i was.

Do we all have to dress as Sith in the future? I mean i am up for that, but everyone who wasnt altered basically did or they hid.

We spent time on certain parts of the plot that we didnt need to & then werent references back to later on which you thought would be important. No we didnt do that at all.

The acting was all okay, but it was nothing spectacular like the press have been saying. There wont be any nominations for acting from this film come award season. I didnt see the hype in them at all, even Kristen. She was good but wasnt there long enough for you to think she was being superb.

because of it being an art piece more than a film, there was some nice cinematography & lighting at times, but at others it then just felt lazy. Its a bit like when youve made a lovely sauce for your dinner & then you realise the only chicken youve got to throw it onto is chicken dippers, does that make sense.

I know some people will be reading this review going did she see the same film as me. Yes i did & i appreciate theres a group of you who adore this & love it & that its a very special work of art, but it just wasnt for me. It just went a bit too far & lost its way a few times . Nah i wont be watching this again, it was all too much.